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Motherfuckin Broke Again

Woke up at 4:30...why? Alarm went off and I can't sleep. I have lots of stress in my life. I have applied with several different companies and I hope to hear something from somebody soon. I need to generate cash in my life. I have 5 bucks to my name.

I have also decided to eliminate women in my life. they seem to be too much of a distraction. I feel like I am putting too much effort and energy into them and not me. I had to tell Dana that I like her alot, but I don't think i can continue to see her anymore.

I also told Cora that she is amazing and fun and interesting, but I cannot hook up with her because I might get too emotionally attached. I think she understood. Melissa understood completely because our relationships is purely physical...we hang out when time permits. She totally understood exactly where i am coming from.
She wants to be friends.

Lisa will be a different story. I feel bad because I think she is buying or bought a ticket out to see me. I think i have to take care of me before i can take care of or offer myself to someone else. I need to become #1 in my own life and I don't see that.

I quit TGWW today. I was pissed about the way things went down. I can't believe how they ridiculed me for just being me.  Since when am I not able to be myself in this life?  I sent back my shirts and cancelled the last two programs I worked with them (scheduled) in October. I will have to see what pans out. Again, right now I want to focus on me. I love me and need to be the best possible me right now.

Until next time

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