Time to reflect...

So i finished up another program today. Pharmaceutical company and as always it was a success for me. Got to see friends and make new ones. My flight was at 11:30 and i caught a ride to McCarran Airport and make it through security in about 5 minutes.

I had a bit of a down day. I guess i am letting myself be a little more emotional. The more emotions the more i reflect.... A good friend told me that music is very therapeutic. After a very tough flight home, I was down a bit. I spent the afternoon watching my cousin tat his friend dustin. I saw the passion that Jake had while he was tatooing. He felt so good about drawing this tat and putting it on his friend. The energy was contagious. He finished the tat and went over to his girls house with Dustin because they were going to celebrate.

I went to Fillipi's and got some lasagna and reflected, again. Upon coming home I started listening to some deep music. I as many of you may or may not know, love to sing. I realize that I have a gift, much like Jake realized his talents tonight. I have a voice that i am not using. Music moves the soul. Doesn't matter what music you listen to...Hip hop, country, soul, jazz,vocal, or rock and roll, the music has a way of getting in your soul and reaching depths that no drug could ever do. I want to create something or express words in a way that reaches people.

I digress, my father would have been 67 today. Many people have their parents in their lives, fathers or mothers. They take for granted the fact that they are there, and then one day, when they are not...you wake up and realize just how much you miss them. Don't make assumptions about life. Tell them you love them every chance you get how much they mean to you.

I have a passion to sing and to give the world music...but i don't know where to start. Maybe its that lingering fear that I'm not good enough, that came from that little voice of doubt in my head, planted their when i was a child. Maybe its the fear of commitment to anything in this world right now, fear of committing to a relationship, fear of committing to work, fear of numerous things. I am not sure where it is coming from, but it needs to leave. I need to work past these demons. I need to fill myself with positivity again. I need to surround with love.

I guess i just needed or need some down time to reflect and deal with those things we call emotions.

I will leave you with the song that plays on itunes right now

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall (x2)

I always said that I was gonna make it,
Now it's plain for everyone to see,
But this game I'm in don't take no prisoners,
Just casualties,
I know that everything is gonna change,
Even the friends I knew before me go,
But this dream is the life I've been searching for,
Started believing that I was the greatest,
My life was never gonna be the same,
Cause with the money came a different status,
That's when things change,
Now I'm too concerned with all the things I own,
Blinded by all the pretty girls I see,
I'm beginning to lose my integrity

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall

I never used to be a troublemaker,
Now I don't even wanna please the fans,
No autographs,
No interviews,
No pictures,
And less demands,
Given advice that was clearly wrong,
The type that seems to make me feel so right,
But some things you may find can take over your life,
Burnt all my bridges now I've run out of places,
And there's nowhere left for me to turn,
Been caught in comprimising situations,
I should have learned,
From all those times I didn't walk away,
When I knew that it was best to go,
Is it too late to show you the shape of my heart,

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall

Now I know,
I made mistakes,
Think I don't care,
But you don't realise what this means to me,
So let me have,
Just one more chance,
I'm not the man I used to be,
Used to beeeeeeeeeee

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall (x4)

I love you all. For those of you that actually read this...thank you. My poetry is my blog...its the poetry of my life and yes it means something to me...