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Showing posts from December, 2009

a new year...

So it hit me like a ton of bricks last night. Here I am on New Years eve without a thing to do. I just put in a long day on the jobsite hauling 250+ sheets of 1/2 inch and 5/8 inch sheet rock into a house. I was a little exhausted and tired but ready to have a beer or two. I lined up plans, but as the night progressed, they fell through and by 10pm, I decided to turn out the lights and go to bed. I realized truly for the first time what it is like to truly be alone on a New years. Part of it could be, the company that I chose to keep and another part could be that I am just different. I turned my phone off and decided to just be in the moment and feel what it felt like. I felt my mind thinking and telling me that something was wrong with me or that I am not a worthy person. I thought about the people I may have hurt in the past, specifically this year. I just really stayed in the feeling place of being in the now. As I stayed in that place, it became more evident to me that I w

Learning patience…again.

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So a few weeks ago, i gave my aunt a quote on repairing a deck for the back of a mobile home she has up in Calabasas. I tend to be the resident handyman in our family and when I am not busy, I love doing small things like repairing decks, installing shelving, building closets, redoing sinks, installing new toilets. It is the handyman in me and I love it because it keeps me focused. Well i did the estimate and gave it to my aunt and she loved it and said go for it. I told her I would come up in the next few weeks to get started. After looking at my schedule (I am not busy for months), I decided to drive up and begin the process of what I thought would be a quick day job. I figured that I would demolish the old deck, repair the few pieces of wood that were bad, lay the new deck down and voila…good as new, right…wrong! [caption id="attachment_670" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="This is what it looked like at first"] [/caption] [captio

Movie Review: Up In The Air

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5 out of 5 stars I try not to post movie reviews on here because, well truthfully, I use flixster inside of the facebook app for that, however on this rare occasion, I decided to post my official review of this movie. I need to forewarn you that this post may be longer than usual because it really struck a nerve and brought up some great thought points for me--so grab your coffee, water, juice or energy drink, get comfortable and hear me out. I wont talk excessively about the movie and try to touch on points that really stood out to me. Overall it was well done and I think Clooney was a perfect choice for the role so out of 5 stars, I give this movie 5 stars, primarily because it hits so close to home for me. So a quick synopsis is that Ryan Bingham is a guy who works in corporate America as "downsizing expert". He is a road warrior extreme and lives his life out of a suitcase and rarely spends time at his small drab apartment. His ultimate goal is to hit 10,0

Pushing Through

Sometimes we don't know how we are going to get there. We see all of the obstacles that keep us from whatever the goal is. We think of all that isn't, instead of all that is. We make excuses and say it isn't possible. What if you could change all that? What if you saw doorways opening, the universe aligning and possibilities expanding? What is stopping you from seeing things the latter way? Its your mind. These past few weeks have been tough for me. I have had to let go of control of many things and one of them being, that I am really not in control of anything. I am present and in the moment and try to find joy in all things that surround me. Financially, my life is a wreck. I am not sure if I will be able to scrape together funds to pay my rent, as well as car note, school loans, credit card and groceries and put gas in my tank. What I can only focus on right now. I am not sure about what or where my future will take me. I am not in control of that. I cannot t