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Showing posts from June, 2011

My trip to Toronto

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One of the reasons that I truly love my profession, is the insane amounts of traveling I do as well as the destinations that are miraculously assigned to me.  I am in awe that many people save their whole lives to be able to travel to one or two really good trips a year, and in my case, it happens on a weekly or monthly basis.

I was unsure about my trip to Toronto, or that I would even like it there. At first I was glad to be completing my Canada collection (Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto).  Toronto has a big city feel but at a much more casual pace.  The people were extremely friendly and nice, the women are among the most beautiful that I have ever laid eyes on and the winters are enough to keep me very content where I am living.

[caption id="attachment_1555" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="CN Tower at night"][/caption]

Toronto could be compared to the likes of Chicago, New York, San Francisco and Hong Kong, all bottled up into…

Tuesdays thoughts...

Have you ever noticed that when you speak or hear a positive or encouraging thought, it stays with you?  Like when someone gives you a compliment, or congratulates you on a job well done, or appreciates who you are in a moment?  What about when someone does something good for you, or you do something good for someone else?  I used to make it a regular point in my life (once a week) to buy the person behind me coffee in line or maybe buy their breakfast.  I have to admit that I was being selfish.  I enjoy doing stuff like that and it makes me feel good, not just for that moment but sometimes for a few hours, a few days or even a week.

Defining yourself isn't as easy as saying that "well I had a shitty childhood" or "I haven't been the best mother or father" or "I am an alcoholic or drug user".  It starts with this moment right now and moves forward with you.  Your past only defines you when you allow it to.  You should remember to stay in the moment…

At the airport...

I am in the airport and aside from watching the mishaps, the first time travelers, the girls in their sweats and uggs, nervous travelers that fidget through their things a hundred times to make sure they have everything they need for their flight to visit family or friends, the businessmen looking at their smart phones to see what deals have gone down in the past 5 seconds, or the obnoxious guy who talks on his phone at levels that would make a deaf person hear, the truth of it all is we are alone on our journey.

You can fill your life with all the people, things or stuff that you can possibly afford, but at the end of the day we are soloists on this flight. To that end, we may feel that we make a difference in this big expanse of a universe, but in reality, what we do won't amount to a hill of beans. You could be the most successful businessman or woman in history, you could be the wealthiest person in all the world, you could start up the most amazing charity in the world and t…

Mom Update 6-12

Mom has had good moments and bad.  She is on a combination of drugs.  Dilauded, morphine, and atavan.  She has good days and bad.  She has a lot of pain in her mouth and seems to bee needing more drugs more often then naught.  Not sure what the cancer is doing.  If it has taken up residence and decided to camp in moms mouth or if it is going to shrink up and take a flight to miami.

Its a draining experience.  Yes its a labor of love but sometimes it gets the best of you.  You begin to believe that you have cancer and that YOU are going to die.  I try to stay upbeat and positive but it is hard.  I lose focus and go batshit mad in my head.

I am the only one that can fix it.  I have my own issues with the whole situation and they are mine to wrestle with.  I am bummed that mom isn't home yet.  She has been in the hospital now for 2 months.  I keep envisioning her being home and walking around and doing the things she used to do, but Im not sure if that is in the cards.  I don't kno…

To my amazing mother

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Dear Mom:

I haven't told you in the last day how much I love you but I do.  I came and saw you on Monday, but you were asleep, probably because of all the meds you are on for pain.  You looked so peaceful and I didn't want to wake you, plus you probably needed the sleep.

I wanted to tell you how strong willed and persistent you are.  I know what you are going through is not easy.  Your comment the other day about "preferring to have triplets than the pain in your mouth" made me realize how painful your situation is.  I wish I could waive a magic wand and make it go away.  I hate seeing you in pain.

I love the conversations that we have when you are awake.  Your spirit is so strong and you are so sarcastically funny that I have no choice but to laugh and smile when I am with you.  I love holding your hand and being by your side.  I know I can't do much, but I hope my being there soothes your pain, if even for a little while.

You have done so much for me and I wis…