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My moms memorial

My beautiful mom

This was my speech (memories) at my moms memorial.  1/21/12

I will try and get the audio up soon.

This is a favorite of mine.  I just recently rediscovered it:
HOPI PRAYER of The Soul's Graduation:
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there,
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight
On the ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there.
I did not die.
My Spirit is still alive…

Nobody likes losing a family member, or anyone for that matter. The loss of a Mothers is  particularly hard because of the bond we develop with them.  It is said that the bond between a mother and child is stronger than any chemical bond in the universe.  I agree.

My mother was a wonderful and beautiful lady even until the day she drew her last breath.  She always had a smile on her face even when she regardless of her situation.  She always had a wonderful way of making me feel better.  She was the first call I made when something fantastic happened in my life, and she was on the other end of the line when I hit the some of my lowest times.  No matter what the call she always listened, and made herself available for me, and in some cases cried with me, even if we were a few hundred miles apart.

My mother was truly one of my best friends in the world.  We weren’t always that close, however, when my father passed that I began realizing that nothing lasts forever, and I need to take advantage of moments.  At the time I was busy trying to keep my marriage together and  trying to climb the corporate ladder.  I lived in Colorado when my father passed and I made several trips to the coast of Mississippi to help my mother get settled in the best she could after losing a husband and life partner after 31 years.  My father took care of my mother and made sure she always had food, water and shelter so it became a big change for both of us.  I tried to be there for her as much as I could.  We talked on the phone almost every other night and it was great because I got to learn so much about her.

When we finally moved Mom to California, it would become a great time for me as mom settled in to her new life with my uncle Don and Aunt Christina.  It also put her about 2000 miles closer to me so I was happy for that.  Shortly after her move here, she was diagnosed with cancer.   Unfortunately, due to my work, I wasn't able to be around mom that much when she went through her first round with the disease.  I thank God for the support of Christina and Don.  They tirelessly took care of her and made sure she got to all her appointments.  I called as much as I could and drove up as often as my schedule would let me.  My moms spirit was unbreakable and she was determined to beat it.  With help from Don and Christina, modern medicine and homeopathic help, mom beat the immanent threat and went into remission.

When the new cancer showed up in February, my move to LA was a no brainer.  I decided to sell all my stuff, put my kitties in good homes, and move up and stay in LA so I could be close, because I didn’t know how much time we had.  I was blessed to have the opportunity to be with her at the hospitals and be by her side.  We shared some great moments, we laughed, we cried, we got angry at the cancer and eventually we accepted it.  I feel in my heart in the end she was fighting to stay alive because she was worried about me, about Christina, and about her chihuahua, Poquito.  She held my hand during some of the most excruciating  moments of pain and I would stay with her while she would fall asleep.  She was often in pain, but  she was a fighter and didn't like giving up.

In the months we were together, I had the opportunity to laugh, to love and to experience loss.  It is a grand achievement and a beautiful one at that.  As we are born, so shall we die.  We all know that our time here is limited.  My mom, infected everyone she met with a sense of love, light and humor.  She was here but a brief moment but her legacy lives on with me.
In my closing, I would just like to say that my mother was a wonderful person and helped me to open my eyes to the beauty and amazement of this world.  She helped me to know its okay to have weak moments and not be strong all the time. Whenever I needed a friend or to hear her voice, she was always on the other end of the phone.   She also taught me that life, however brief, is worth the fight for every minute we have here.  She instilled in me a sense of faith in things unseen and that laughter, in dark times, is our best medicine.  There is not a day that goes by that I won't remember our time together here and all the wonderful things she shared with me.  Even though your not here physically, I feel your energy every day and am thankful for it.

Thank you mom for always believing in me and teaching me the value of showing up, and for loving me unconditionally.  You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten.


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