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So I went to see 42 last night.  The irony is that I will be 42 this year myself.  I really had no idea what to expect with this movie.  I almost avoided it and decided on another, but after some convincing, I went to check it out.  I can say that I am not at all sorry for going to sit through this 2 hour and 8 minute movie.

Observation:   Jackie Robinson had a dream to play baseball and that is what he did.  Being the first African American to play Americas favorite game, he had to overcome many obstacles, both in his head and on the field. Do I think that racism still exists, absolutely!  Do I think it exists as it did during Jackie Robinsons day? No way.  I think being the first at anything pushes the limits and gets people hot under the collar.  This was extremely evident during this crucial time in our history.  The director did  a great job making you feel the tension in the air at the time.

One character who stood out and made you feel good throughout the whole movie was Jackie's wife, Rachel Robinson, portrayed by Nicole Beharie.  She seemed to always believe in him and support him in everything he was going through.  This really made me think about the times and how things have changed so drastically in todays day and age.  It seems we have lost our ability to stick with anything, jobs or love.  When either gets too hard or complicated, we bail (Again this is my observation so bear with me).

Another comparison that I make is the number 42 and coinciding with my age this year. This has been one of the most difficult years of my life.  I am floundering around like a fish out of water. I am passionate about multiple things, but how do you put that on a business card?  And do people really care?  I have had numerous people say, "You should find what you are good at and do that".   I recently made business cards up with Technolgy and social media specialist, however, thats not all that i do.  I build, I bake, I cook, I clean, I organize, I tinker, I fix, I speak, I listen, and I drink coffee (sometimes too much).  As you get older, it becomes harder to earn a living.  If Im lucky, I have 20 years at best to earn and save.  Cant do much saving unless its agressive and even then its not going to make a dent in the option of trying to retire.  I don't see a landfall inheritance coming my way so off to plan B.  Oh wait there is no plan B :-)

I also realize that Jackie had to struggle in his day, I don't know how much more struggling we have to do.  Yes i know it exists in other parts of the world.  Human injustices are a minute by minute occurrence, I am dealing with here in the US.  Jackie had to ignore the comments and hate spewed his way on focus on what he loved doing which was playing baseball.  He was a pioneer.  The truth is I don't know how much more of that we have left in our world.  I mean if you really look at it, its all been done.  As my good friend Marshall said to me 2 years ago, "Original thought is dead"  If you have an idea, I am willing to bet that if you research it, you will find out, its already been done.  There are literally hundreds of thousands of apps in the app store and probably the same in the android play store.  Many of them overlap and for some, one app my provide more of a convenience to the user than say another app.

I feel that in this life, there isn't much I can do.  I will never cure cancer, discover some new rare element, find a new species of plant or animal, overcome racism,  or invent some super device that makes life better.  I won't save starving kids, I won't save anyone's life from dying as nature has an amazing way of making that happen naturally.  I just show up (see previous post).  There are those of us that are destined for greatness, a select few, possibly chosen by the gods, the universe, buddha, or whatever you believe in, that change the way we think, cause us to change the way we act, or force us to become a force for change.  They are few but far, Richard Branson, Desmond Tutu, Jonas Salk, Mother Teresa, Ghandi, Zuckerberg, the Googleans, and Steve Jobs to name a few.  For the rest of us, maybe its just about being, showing up and appreciating?  As I have said many times, the more i learn, the less I really know.

To me,the number 42 represents change, struggle and acceptance.  Accepting who you are, what your limitations are and being okay with that.  Jackie Robinson realize he loved to play baseball and unfortunately, at the time, it was a white mans game.  The color of his skin became the focus to many that he was different, but in reality he was human.  My father once told me when i was really young, "Take a man, any man, a black man, an asian, a jewish man, a muslim and caucasian and cut open their chest and look at their heart.  The color of their blood is all the same and therefore we are all the same."  Our experiences, our skin color, our physical appearances may be different, but in the end we are all the same, human beings.

I don't know where I am going, I don't know what I am doing and for now I will just be. Maybe the rest will work itself out.  I can't get to ahead of myself.  Breathe, one foot in front of the other, appreciate and repeat.

Until next time...


  1. I will be 42 this year, too. I think you hit the nail on the head with acceptance and knowing your limitations. That is something new to me and I'm finally starting to come to terms with it. It's hard to be honest with yourself sometimes, but if you're going to be a grown up, you have to be. As my husband often says, I wish I could take the mind I have now and put it in my 20 year old body. I could've conquered the world!


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