So after my last post, it became apparent that I am not going to be able to close the blog just yet. I got an overwhelming response from friends and family that they truly appreciate my writing. I have decided to continue maintaining my blog. I have a decision to make and it will have to happen very soon. I will reveal my decision in the next week or so.
I have to share these two daily reads that showed up shortly after my decision to resign. Its amazing to me how things line up in the world when you make a decision. It seems very true that when one door closes another opens. The most important thing to keep in perspective is that when multiple doors open, there is no wrong door. Just pick one and walk through, rather than fretting about which one will be the "best choice". There is no best choice, just a choice. Remember, you are the biggest critic of yourself.
These were my two readings. They are from Mark Nepo's "Book of Awakening"
“Birds learn how to fly, never knowing where flight will take them.”
Never knowing where we fly.
There is a deep and humbling lesson in the way of birds. Their wings grow and stretch and span patches of a girl. first tentatively and then with confidence, they left, a pump, they glide, they land. It seems for birds, it is the act of lying that is the goal. True, they migrate and seek out food, but when flying, there's a sense that being aloft their true destination.
Unlike birds, we cofuse our time on Earth, again and again, with the obsessions of where we are going -- often to the point that we frustrate and stall our human ability to fly. We frequently tame and hush our need to love, to learn, to know the truth of spirit, until we can be assured their efforts will take us somewhere. All these conditions and hesitations and yes--buts and what ifs turn the human journey upside down, never letting the heart, wing what it is, truly unfold.
Yet, without consideration or reservation, it is simply the presence of light that stirs birds to sing and lift. They do not understand concepts such as holding back or only investing if the returns seems certain. In this, we are the only creatures that seek out guarantees, and in so doing we snuff the spark that is discovery.
Just how often do we cripple ourselves by not letting love with all its risks teach us how to fly? How many times do our hearts stall because we won't let the wingspan of a passion open us fully into our gifts? How frequently do you search for a song of guidance that can only come from inside us?
I know that over the years, through fear and expectation, my mind has gathered and hoarded places I need to go, things I needed to have, selves I needed to be. But here I am, without most of them -- the goals and wants all used up in learning how to love.
So, try as I do to imagine and construct where I am headed, try as I will to plan and know what this life of feeling means, it is the pulse of what I feel itself that lifts me into spirit. In truth, wings don't grow and you differently to fit south or east or west, and our lives, no matter how we train ourselves, or more fundamental than any direction of worldly ambition. We, like the birds, are meant to fly and sing - - that's all -- and our plans and schemes or twigs of nest that, once outgrown, we leave.
The one for yesterday was as follows:
Even in the dark
“To be broken is no reason to see all things as broken”
Seldom seen, growing along the ocean floor, the white plumed anemone it's a watery blossom. It is white lace opening under tons of black, opening as if it is bathed in the Sun, while so far from the Sun.
This is the trick to staying well, isn't it: to feel the Sun even in the dark. To not lose the truth of things when they go out of you. To grow just the same. To know there is still water, even when we are thirsty. To know there is still love, even when we are lonely. To know there is still peace even when we are suffering.
None of this invalidate our pain, but only strengthens our way back into the light.
Basically in a nutshell, life is constantly changing and evolving. When we become restless, its because we are waiting for a change to occur or a shift in consciousness. When these changes occur, don't fight them, embrace them and allow it to flow. You can have the best laid plans and then life will show you another route or put you on a total differnt path. Embrace it, love it and breathe it in.
The latter reading is really about appreciating yourself and appreciating the journey. Even when clouds hide the sun, you have to know its still there (if it isn't we are all screwed). Appreciate who you are, wake up each day and hug and love yourself and know that there are going to be crap days and there are going to be great days, so enjoy the ride and stop trying to run from your pain. Just embrace it.
Until next time...