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Showing posts from January, 2015

Lessons vs. Experience---Whats your take?

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Lessons vs Experiences First and foremost, I gain as much from writing this blog, as you get from reading it, so thank you very much for those that have stuck around.  This year will mark 10 years in my journey of blogging and 26 years of writing, 1 book and 1000s of blog entries and here we are so if you have been with me since the beginning, thank you.  Many of my blog posts were taken from my journal and added to my blog over the last 5 or so years.  It was my way of removing secrecy and putting it all out there.  Transparency has been big throughout my whole life, its no wonder that I have been lied to often, but that doesn’t change my stance.  I have said before, you give 100% and only expect 1% back, your life will be blessed. I decided to write on lessons vs experience because I see so many people posting about “not losing the lesson”, or “in everything there is a valuable lesson”.  As I have pondered this over the last few weeks, I humbly feel that we put too much e

Happy 2015---this post may be a downer be warned :-)

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I can't believe I am here.  I mean its been 44 years.  I never thought I would make it this far.  I thought for sure that 30 was the end.  When I was younger, I thought for sure my life would be over at the ripe old age of 30.  Here I am and I watch the days roll by like someone in a raft on a fast river watching the land blur by. I realized that heartache is a bitch.  At least it is for me.  Im not sure it affects the people the same.  Some people become grindstones and dig in, I break down.  I feel the emptiness set in and the loneliness.  I race through all the thoughts (mostly negative) about my life.  I tell myself that I am a shitty person, the reason that nothing good and that love doesn't last is because I don't deserve it.  Everyone else does, but not me.  I fall and fall hard, I don't know any other way to go.  Some say its great, my head and heart say "not so much" for when it ends, it is a painful process. Often times I miss the concept that