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Screw back up plans

Yes I said it.  Yes I have had quite a few unsuccessful ventures and I have recently started reading blogs that suggest backup plans.  I don't agree and I will tell you why.

When you have a back up plan you have an "oh shit that didn't work and I have to do something about it". Its like whatever it is going on in your life is going to fail or stop being at some point. Newsflash: You are correct!  NOTHING lasts forever. Your job, your marriage, your income stream, your family and most certainly not your startup or your job.  For those of you wishing to go back to the old days, its not going to happen.  The age of chivalry is dying and the startup that you create will be dead within 10-15 years.  We don't live in our parents or grandparents economy. Hell the way we communicate is changing. See example below and try and decipher what I am saying to you


Did you figure it out yet.  If so, please pat yourself on the back because even I don't know what the hell it means.  You are deep. Your meaning is your own so if you did find meaning in the above and it works, that is great.

I have worked more jobs than most people dream of in a day.  None of them lasted forever.  My longest profession was my stint as an independent event consultant.  That was off and on for 15 years. It was a love hate relationship.  I loved many of the clients I had, and hated the bureaucracy and bullshit. I hated that one day I was loved and the next day "not so much".  Most of you that begin working will see the same thing.  One day you love your job and the next week you hate it. Find something you can tolerate and learn new skills and do that for a bit. When the bullshit, in your head, is greater than the good, jump to your next episode and write a new chapter.

I don't have a backup plan and never will. When you have a backup plan its like saying there is some sort of order in the universe and the stark reality is there isn't.  One of my favorite quotes is:

“The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.”

― Neil deGrasse Tyson  

Call it cliche or trite, but it is the truth.  We as humans want order in everything we do. We want neatness from one transition to the other, we want break ups to not hurt, and divorces to be civil and job transitions to be simplistic. None of the aforementioned is true. Transitions in personal life can suck, break ups hurt like hell, divorces are a destructive force more marvelous than a hurricane and career transitions can be like stepping into dante's 5th circle.

I don't believe in backup plans.  Get out there and see what life has to offer. There is no good nor bad, there just is and how we label it shows our biases. If you work at a job and are let go, let go yourself and look for the next thing. If a relationship ends, end it and move on to the next phase of your existence. When a family member or loved one dies, grieve and marvel at the wonder of their life and openly embrace what your next chapter is. Nothing is guaranteed and we only get one go around and truthfully none of it is going to make sense.  Oh yeah and stop saying "everything happens for a reason"  It doesn't.  The universe isn't that trivial.  It happened and it's time to put on your big boy/girl pants and move on.  Its as if we need to associate some logical reasoning in our head so that we can move on when in fact we don't.

Back up plans rarely hold water and only buy you security for brief moments while the rest of the world is losing its shit. They are a false sense of hope that 'everything is going to be okay' and the honest truth is-maybe it isn't and that is okay.  Embrace the chaos.  

Until next time...


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Feels like a throat punch to my heart

So, I thought today was going to be just another Sunday of lounging around and netflixing.  I don't think I have ever been so wrong in my life.  To start with, Facebook reminded me of my memories.  I happened to click on a friends link and decided to follow another link to my very first girlfriends sisters page.  Its random how I got there, but I blame facebook.

To my shock, I saw that her sister had passed on the 22nd of November.  I was shocked because I knew that she wasn't that old.  I reached out to an old mutual acquaintance and found out it was pretty sudden and unexpected.  That had me in some kinda mood.  Because of that, I began to text and email friends and check in and make sure then were okay.

I got a text message from a close colleague I used to work with at a previous job.

Beck: "whats shakin CB"
Me: "Not much just wanted to say hello.  Had a wake up call today.  Found out first girlfriends sister just passed away.  So sad...she was young"

Just a friendly update on me :-)

Hey everyone

Just wanted to give an update. You may remember that I said I was going to be coming back to California, well it is official.  I am heading down May 1. I will most likely take the train and stop in Napa to visit my cousin Stephen Bordes at his winery for a day or two.  From there, I will catch a train to San diego.

I am currently looking for work and open to any positions that may be available, I just ask that you don't hold it against me because I have a masters degree.  I have seen many companies shy away from hiring me because I have a Masters Degree.  I am honestly looking to get off my feet and find a base of operation. My home is California and I know that now.  I am native and the air, soil and water are in my bones.

I am looking to establish which means I will need to find a place to live (that I pay for monthly), maybe even get a car (down the road) for now I know that I will have to use the bus and I am okay with that. I am nervous as hell about this move …