October 13, 2000-Friday

Ahhhhhh friday the 13th

Good day as i worked for Tony today and he and I talked today. He was very upset with his brother for not being responsible for his life. Tony was also upset with people in General always coming to him in their time of need. Its like they always want to take advantage of him. People know he has money so they turn to him in their time of crisis.

It helped me to understand better about what sets Tony off. I also realized that I don't want to be a thorn in his side. The sooner I can be out the better. I will take care of all responsibilities while here (anything that he requires of me) and try and pay him rent money. This way I show up as someone who cares in his book and am not a free ride.

Spoke with Marla tonight...she is hella hot and cute. Had a great time at her concert. Must not get involved with anyone yet (yet why am i dating?????????) I need to focus on me and stay positive. I want to focus my energy on the house of my dreams. Eliminate what you don't want, from that determine what you want. Get into the feeling place of owning your own home, walking around your own place, cranking your stereo, stop listen and let it happen.

I feel like a relationship right now would only close my insecurities about relationships. Need to focus on the big picture.

I had a wierd dream last night. Maryann came back from San Francisco with tons of photo albums. I thought they would be filled with pictures of Mark, and instead they were filled with photos of my family. Only one picture of mark on a pier holding a cell phone...wierd...

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