Skip to main content

October 13, 2000-Friday

Ahhhhhh friday the 13th

Good day as i worked for Tony today and he and I talked today. He was very upset with his brother for not being responsible for his life. Tony was also upset with people in General always coming to him in their time of need. Its like they always want to take advantage of him. People know he has money so they turn to him in their time of crisis.

It helped me to understand better about what sets Tony off. I also realized that I don't want to be a thorn in his side. The sooner I can be out the better. I will take care of all responsibilities while here (anything that he requires of me) and try and pay him rent money. This way I show up as someone who cares in his book and am not a free ride.

Spoke with Marla tonight...she is hella hot and cute. Had a great time at her concert. Must not get involved with anyone yet (yet why am i dating?????????) I need to focus on me and stay positive. I want to focus my energy on the house of my dreams. Eliminate what you don't want, from that determine what you want. Get into the feeling place of owning your own home, walking around your own place, cranking your stereo, stop listen and let it happen.

I feel like a relationship right now would only close my insecurities about relationships. Need to focus on the big picture.

I had a wierd dream last night. Maryann came back from San Francisco with tons of photo albums. I thought they would be filled with pictures of Mark, and instead they were filled with photos of my family. Only one picture of mark on a pier holding a cell phone...wierd...


Popular posts from this blog

Feels like a throat punch to my heart

So, I thought today was going to be just another Sunday of lounging around and netflixing.  I don't think I have ever been so wrong in my life.  To start with, Facebook reminded me of my memories.  I happened to click on a friends link and decided to follow another link to my very first girlfriends sisters page.  Its random how I got there, but I blame facebook.

To my shock, I saw that her sister had passed on the 22nd of November.  I was shocked because I knew that she wasn't that old.  I reached out to an old mutual acquaintance and found out it was pretty sudden and unexpected.  That had me in some kinda mood.  Because of that, I began to text and email friends and check in and make sure then were okay.

I got a text message from a close colleague I used to work with at a previous job.

Beck: "whats shakin CB"
Me: "Not much just wanted to say hello.  Had a wake up call today.  Found out first girlfriends sister just passed away.  So sad...she was young"

Screw back up plans

Yes I said it.  Yes I have had quite a few unsuccessful ventures and I have recently started reading blogs that suggest backup plans.  I don't agree and I will tell you why.

When you have a back up plan you have an "oh shit that didn't work and I have to do something about it". Its like whatever it is going on in your life is going to fail or stop being at some point. Newsflash: You are correct!  NOTHING lasts forever. Your job, your marriage, your income stream, your family and most certainly not your startup or your job.  For those of you wishing to go back to the old days, its not going to happen.  The age of chivalry is dying and the startup that you create will be dead within 10-15 years.  We don't live in our parents or grandparents economy. Hell the way we communicate is changing. See example below and try and decipher what I am saying to you


Did you figure it out yet.  If so, please pat yourself …

Just a friendly update on me :-)

Hey everyone

Just wanted to give an update. You may remember that I said I was going to be coming back to California, well it is official.  I am heading down May 1. I will most likely take the train and stop in Napa to visit my cousin Stephen Bordes at his winery for a day or two.  From there, I will catch a train to San diego.

I am currently looking for work and open to any positions that may be available, I just ask that you don't hold it against me because I have a masters degree.  I have seen many companies shy away from hiring me because I have a Masters Degree.  I am honestly looking to get off my feet and find a base of operation. My home is California and I know that now.  I am native and the air, soil and water are in my bones.

I am looking to establish which means I will need to find a place to live (that I pay for monthly), maybe even get a car (down the road) for now I know that I will have to use the bus and I am okay with that. I am nervous as hell about this move …