Skip to main content

random thoughts...

This may be a subject I have touched on before, but it is something that has reared up in the past few days. Many of you may or may not know about and that is up to this point, i have sucked with regards to my personal finance. I went from being at a pont of being able to take care of my finances and never worrying, to always worrying about finances. It is only recently that I have been able to pay my requirements.

It has also become evident once again that I am not able to be in a relationship because of the worry of my current finances. It is too much a worry on my mind and because of it I am working my ass off as much as i can to pay the current obligation. I think that because I am not financially close to stable, it makes me realize that I have to be financially stable for my piece of mind in order to be in any sort of relationship.

At this time, I don't think i can handle a relationship for 2 reasons,
1. I just recently ended a 5 year commitment
2. I am not in a point where I feel comfortable with myself to be in a relationship (financially)

Many people would say that is silly and shouldn't be a concern, but it is a concern nonetheless and one that is important to me. Not being able to contribute is an empty feeling in life. Money gives us the freedom that we need to do the things we want to do. Go on vacation, buy things that we may need for our daily living, or allow the ability to buy food and neccessities. Without all that, I feel naked. I feel like I am not a contributor to society

Who knows if my thoughts are valid or correct, however, it is how i feel. Any thoughts or comments are greatly appreciated.

Until next time,
Chad

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feels like a throat punch to my heart

So, I thought today was going to be just another Sunday of lounging around and netflixing.  I don't think I have ever been so wrong in my life.  To start with, Facebook reminded me of my memories.  I happened to click on a friends link and decided to follow another link to my very first girlfriends sisters page.  Its random how I got there, but I blame facebook.

To my shock, I saw that her sister had passed on the 22nd of November.  I was shocked because I knew that she wasn't that old.  I reached out to an old mutual acquaintance and found out it was pretty sudden and unexpected.  That had me in some kinda mood.  Because of that, I began to text and email friends and check in and make sure then were okay.

I got a text message from a close colleague I used to work with at a previous job.

Beck: "whats shakin CB"
Me: "Not much just wanted to say hello.  Had a wake up call today.  Found out first girlfriends sister just passed away.  So sad...she was young"
B…

Screw back up plans

Yes I said it.  Yes I have had quite a few unsuccessful ventures and I have recently started reading blogs that suggest backup plans.  I don't agree and I will tell you why.

When you have a back up plan you have an "oh shit that didn't work and I have to do something about it". Its like whatever it is going on in your life is going to fail or stop being at some point. Newsflash: You are correct!  NOTHING lasts forever. Your job, your marriage, your income stream, your family and most certainly not your startup or your job.  For those of you wishing to go back to the old days, its not going to happen.  The age of chivalry is dying and the startup that you create will be dead within 10-15 years.  We don't live in our parents or grandparents economy. Hell the way we communicate is changing. See example below and try and decipher what I am saying to you

☝☺✊✋✌❤👀👂👃👄👬👭👮👪👫👶💋💖💔💞😀😑😚😥🙆🙅🙈🙉🙊😞😞😞

Did you figure it out yet.  If so, please pat yourself …

Just a friendly update on me :-)

Hey everyone

Just wanted to give an update. You may remember that I said I was going to be coming back to California, well it is official.  I am heading down May 1. I will most likely take the train and stop in Napa to visit my cousin Stephen Bordes at his winery for a day or two.  From there, I will catch a train to San diego.

I am currently looking for work and open to any positions that may be available, I just ask that you don't hold it against me because I have a masters degree.  I have seen many companies shy away from hiring me because I have a Masters Degree.  I am honestly looking to get off my feet and find a base of operation. My home is California and I know that now.  I am native and the air, soil and water are in my bones.

I am looking to establish which means I will need to find a place to live (that I pay for monthly), maybe even get a car (down the road) for now I know that I will have to use the bus and I am okay with that. I am nervous as hell about this move …