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random thoughts...

This may be a subject I have touched on before, but it is something that has reared up in the past few days. Many of you may or may not know about and that is up to this point, i have sucked with regards to my personal finance. I went from being at a pont of being able to take care of my finances and never worrying, to always worrying about finances. It is only recently that I have been able to pay my requirements.

It has also become evident once again that I am not able to be in a relationship because of the worry of my current finances. It is too much a worry on my mind and because of it I am working my ass off as much as i can to pay the current obligation. I think that because I am not financially close to stable, it makes me realize that I have to be financially stable for my piece of mind in order to be in any sort of relationship.

At this time, I don't think i can handle a relationship for 2 reasons,
1. I just recently ended a 5 year commitment
2. I am not in a point where I feel comfortable with myself to be in a relationship (financially)

Many people would say that is silly and shouldn't be a concern, but it is a concern nonetheless and one that is important to me. Not being able to contribute is an empty feeling in life. Money gives us the freedom that we need to do the things we want to do. Go on vacation, buy things that we may need for our daily living, or allow the ability to buy food and neccessities. Without all that, I feel naked. I feel like I am not a contributor to society

Who knows if my thoughts are valid or correct, however, it is how i feel. Any thoughts or comments are greatly appreciated.

Until next time,


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