Skip to main content

One foot in front of the other...

I don't really write too much about being bogged down in life. I like to keep things upbeat and focused on all the greatness that the world has to offer. Every so often you come across a story from someone close to you or that you have met, that makes you step back and say "Wow, If they can do it, so can I," I recently had one of those wow moments.

I was in Dallas in the end of August working a program there. I met a girl the first night off of work in the lobby bar while settling in and ordering some food and grabbing a night cap. Her name was Cathryn and she was a very beautiful blonde. It started off with the usual smiles, throw in a few jokes here and there and before long we were having a real life conversation, not a text chat or email correspondence, but a real conversation. (I know very shocking in this digital age)

We ended up seeing each other in the lobby 2 nights and having some really in depth conversations about life, love and the universe. Part of the reason I love my life so much is because of these types of interactions. I love hearing other peoples stories and sharing some of my own as well. The conversation the second night was definitely one of the better ones I have had in this lifetime.

I could see she was married, but I sensed a bit of discontent because if it in our conversations. It seemed that her mood was blase to say the least, when we discussed her marriage. She just didn't seem happy. I have a good sense about those sort of things :-). We discussed my marriage and her marriage at large. We came to the conclusion that sometimes society (family, friends) dictate the way we see our lives playing out and that marriage is an institution which people associate our character based on if we are married or not married.

I asked her if she could do anything, what would it be, She said, "Move to San Francisco and start over". I asked her if she could see that happening. She said "Yes, but, she had no way of knowing how that would happen". I replied, "You don't have to know how, just plant the seed with the universe, and the rest will put itself into place". I also shared with her that we have only one purpose in this life, "happiness". I shared with her that for the most part I have had 3 years (minus a few days here and there) of sheer happiness and that every day seems to get better based on how i view the world. Its about unlearning lots of old bad habits and allowing good ones to replace them.

Needless to say, our last conversation stretched to 2am and I had to be up at 6, but it was worth it. Very enlightening and enjoyable. I really enjoyed talking to her and felt a strong connection. I ask the universe every day, "What amazing person or event will I experience on this day" and on this day, it brought me Catherine.

Fast forward to today, I spoke with Cathryn this week and she started out by telling me that lots had happened since our conversation. I pried as i always do asking for more details. She advised me that she had gotten divorced, found her own cute little place and that her job was on the up and up. She confided that she wasn't in San Francisco, but we both know that will happen in due time.

Here is some of our conversation (with her permission of course)
Me: "How long were you married?"
C: "We were married for 3 1/2 years and together for 8. I was feeling "stuck" for the last 5 years. I felt that getting married would help all the issues and clearly it didn't. In many instances it made things worse and my husband became more complacent. I knew for the last 6 months that I was going to leave, just didn't know when."
Me: "Who or what was your biggest inspiration throughout the process?"
C:" 2 people come to mind. The first was a great friend, Sean. At 29 years old, he died in a horrible, freak mountain bike accident. I learned from the experience that life is way too short to not do, see and experience all there is to offer. This was 8 years ago, but it took me this long to put it into action. My friend Sean lived his life to the fullest. I am sure that he lived his life without any regrets. He experienced more in his life than most of us ever will. I just want to live my life like Sean.
The second person, as cheesy as it may sound, was you Chad. Meeting in Dallas and having just a handful of conversations made me take a step back and really examine my life. I knew what I wanted, just didn't know how to make it happen. You helped me to realize that I just had to let things happen the way they were supposed to. And I did, and the universe put things into motion the way they should be.
Also the dissolution of my parents 31 year marriage played a part in it also. I was so scared of living my life unhappily and finally gaining the courage too late to make a decision. The other event that made me realize what I needed to do, was my trip to San Francisco. It was the most eye-opening, self-realizing 2 days I have ever spent. Being there, by myself, being confident in myself (my job, my looks, my intelligence), made me realize that I had to make some major changes, but more importantly, it made me understand that i could make these changes and be okay. I've never had more confidence in myself than at this very minute. I know I can do anything right now, Anything that I WANT to do that is."
Me: What was the reaction of family and friends?
C: "Everyone said they saw it coming. They said that my husband and I were two different people and that we had grown way apart. He is the same person he was 8 years ago, and I have changed. My friends have been absolutely amazing since all this happened. They are all extremely supportive and I had no idea how much they cared about me and I love it!"

I asked Cathryn if i could publish this and she said absolutely. This story really struck me because most of the time, people go with the status quo. I think of "Bridges of Madison County", where Francesca had so much passion for Robert, but the history and her kids made her stay. I have always wondered, "what if she had gone with Robert?" "What would her story have looked like?".

Cathryn proved to me, that all you really have to do is put the intention out there, and be willing to accept the answers and the universe will send you in the right direction. In this constantly changing and evolving world, we, ourselves change and evolve and Cathryn has shown how you can change and allow yourself to be pulled out of that rut.
Don't live your life in that rut. Find your passion and you will go there.

Until Next time…


Popular posts from this blog

Feels like a throat punch to my heart

So, I thought today was going to be just another Sunday of lounging around and netflixing.  I don't think I have ever been so wrong in my life.  To start with, Facebook reminded me of my memories.  I happened to click on a friends link and decided to follow another link to my very first girlfriends sisters page.  Its random how I got there, but I blame facebook.

To my shock, I saw that her sister had passed on the 22nd of November.  I was shocked because I knew that she wasn't that old.  I reached out to an old mutual acquaintance and found out it was pretty sudden and unexpected.  That had me in some kinda mood.  Because of that, I began to text and email friends and check in and make sure then were okay.

I got a text message from a close colleague I used to work with at a previous job.

Beck: "whats shakin CB"
Me: "Not much just wanted to say hello.  Had a wake up call today.  Found out first girlfriends sister just passed away.  So sad...she was young"

Just a friendly update on me :-)

Hey everyone

Just wanted to give an update. You may remember that I said I was going to be coming back to California, well it is official.  I am heading down May 1. I will most likely take the train and stop in Napa to visit my cousin Stephen Bordes at his winery for a day or two.  From there, I will catch a train to San diego.

I am currently looking for work and open to any positions that may be available, I just ask that you don't hold it against me because I have a masters degree.  I have seen many companies shy away from hiring me because I have a Masters Degree.  I am honestly looking to get off my feet and find a base of operation. My home is California and I know that now.  I am native and the air, soil and water are in my bones.

I am looking to establish which means I will need to find a place to live (that I pay for monthly), maybe even get a car (down the road) for now I know that I will have to use the bus and I am okay with that. I am nervous as hell about this move …

Movie Review: The Family Fang- 4.5 out of 5 stars

Narrator:  Imagine your dead. Feel yourself go numb. Start with your fingers, move to your hands, your wrists, right on up to your elbows. Everything is dead. If we can imagine our own death, but still manage to come back to life, then it proves we can survive, anything.

Baxter Fang: Don't be afraid. Own the moment. If you're in control then the chaos will happen around you and not to you.

This was one of the best and possibly overlooked movies of 2015 (which is why I am just now reviewing it in 2016) in my humbled opinion.  Jason Bateman is not only an incredible actor, but an extremely talented director.  I was never a fan of arrested development (probably because I never watched it).  However, after seeing Bad Words and now The Family Fang, I have a whole new respect for Jason Bateman

The story line:Annie and Baxter, the adult children of the controversial husband and wife conceptual performance art couple famous for their quirky macabre public performances, have never got ove…