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Mom Update 6-12

Mom has had good moments and bad.  She is on a combination of drugs.  Dilauded, morphine, and atavan.  She has good days and bad.  She has a lot of pain in her mouth and seems to bee needing more drugs more often then naught.  Not sure what the cancer is doing.  If it has taken up residence and decided to camp in moms mouth or if it is going to shrink up and take a flight to miami.

Its a draining experience.  Yes its a labor of love but sometimes it gets the best of you.  You begin to believe that you have cancer and that YOU are going to die.  I try to stay upbeat and positive but it is hard.  I lose focus and go batshit mad in my head.

I am the only one that can fix it.  I have my own issues with the whole situation and they are mine to wrestle with.  I am bummed that mom isn't home yet.  She has been in the hospital now for 2 months.  I keep envisioning her being home and walking around and doing the things she used to do, but Im not sure if that is in the cards.  I don't know anything truth be told.

She has shared with me that she is very thankful for all your thoughts and prayers.  Every day i bring her emails of support and love or txt messages that friends have sent.  So thank you all for you continued support.

Until next time...

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