Chad Writes Stuff

Today was a great day. We opened presents at 9:30 after sleeping in for a bit. Maryann bought me some new cords from J Crew. She also bought me a leatherman tool and a MontBlanc Pen... I got her a few things that she wanted as well. I played on our new Gateway computer for a while. I found out I was overdrawn by 200 bones. Primarily because of the $250 deductable I had to pay for the car repairs. (I wrecked the Montero) Loki and Jasmine got new Dino's (don't ask me...Maryann made up the terms...apparently they are chew toys.) They seemed to enjoy them. They even opened them. I got maryann a wallet that she may take back and get something else for. It seemed that it was a good day. Until next time...

Time to write again. Here it is almost 2 years since i started this Colorado Journey. So much has happened. I am married, I closed a failing personal training business, changed careers (again) and seem to be no better off than I was 2 years ago. My cycle is repeating. I am again $18,000 in debt. $10K more than 2 years ago. Have I not learned anything????? I need to find myself, my center again. Who am I? What am I all about? Stop your fakeness and become real and happy. No more spending. The bad news of it all is that Maryann and I will not be able to go on a honeymoon. Any money we make has to go back to her father. Enough...Life is good. no more false me. Meditate. Become one with the world. Stop Falsifying your life and become what you are destined to be Until next time...

I got married today. Maryann and I went to the Courthouse and tied the knot officially. What a great day. I am married to the most beautiful person in the world. We will have a ceremony on May 29th of 99. I am very happy. Everyone else in the family is elated also wooo hooo Until next time...

I am a good person and I respect everyone. I am on this journey for a reason. I have become increasingly negative as I dive deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. This must stop or I will kill myself. Things are going well yet I am forecasting negative. Focus on the positive, focus on the good. Focus on the feeling of good. Think about getting the montero sport and the positive feeling of working towards ownership. Stop focusing on the negative and what you don't want. Which feeling have you been? Which would you like to be? Become the former, learn the latter... Until next time...

Well today I turned 27. Fuck me. 3 years til 30. Wow. I thought to myself why push myself towards societies standards. Money is an object which will never bring me happiness or security. If I make 40K a year, I would still find a way to be in debt. Life is what it is. No more or no less. When we love ourselves and forget about our physical happiness, then we will become truly happy. Money buys physical things and mental anguish. Spirituality and self are key.Keep focused. Until next time...