Chad Writes Stuff

A time to journal again. What a difference a year makes. I have more confidence, less money and I have never been happier. It seems that is what life is all about. I have less but love life more. I am learning to truly prioritize what is important to me. Money is no longer a motivator for me. You do what you are. Each person is given a gift. It is up to us to remember that. Maryann is almost completely out of my thoughts. I don't wish her harm and I wish her well. I will send her what I can when I can. Just like all the other creditors, Maryann is no longer an ex wife or a friend, just a debtor...someone that I learned and expensive lesson about Now i have Fatima in my life and she is understanding, caring and a wonderful friend. We have long conversations and keep great company. I guess I had to be with Maryann to realize what i don't want and through it I realized what I want. Fatima and I share similar experiences in life. We respect one another for our exper...

Well it has been almost a month since i met Fatima. I can honestly say that it has been one of the best, if not the best months of my life. We call each morning and talk each night before we go to bed. We seem to really understand each other. I respect and admire her, she respects and admires me. Tonight she came over and we kissed and laid in each others arms. She is such an amazing kisser. Her lips are soft and pull me in so deeply. In watching "Twice upon a yesterday" ,I realize that she is the love of my life. I couldn't have stayed married to maryann because she wasn't the one. I have never been so happy in all my life. When i am with her, I cannot get enough. It was so hard to tell her to leave last night (she has to be home by 1am). She makes me feel so good about myself. I am approaching this relationship from a different standpoint, yet i feel she is my soulie. She is awesome. I am feeling very good about this one and about myself lately. I feel ...

Well I am happy to say that as of today, I am off the singles market. Fatima and I decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend and I am excited about this new relationship. She is so amazing. She and I seem to feel the same way about relationships. I feel myself being able to fall for her without any restrictions. I am going to take my time since i don't want to scare her away. I have also decided not to charge into sex on this one. So far I like what I see. We both agreed to hold off on sex for a bit and when we are both ready we will go ahead. I get nothing but good vibes about this one. She is so beautiful that I cannot put it into words. Amazing in spirit and in person. She is the woman I have been waiting for. She is funny smart patient kind and loving. She likes me for who i am, not what I can become. Her lips are the softest and sweetest I have kissed to date. Her smile will brighten anyones day. Her laugh will make you smile and laugh at the same time. Her vo...

Things have definitly turned around...Mentally! Tuesday September 18th I met the woman of my dreams. We met on MSN chat. It was so random how we met. She was getting ready to log out, i logged in to see if any local folks were going out. I saw her name, clicked her profile and the rest is history. Her name is Fatima. It is such a beautiful name. She is 23, 5'8", tall, olive skin, brown eyes, exotic and an angel. We have been getting to know each other outside of sex as friends and it is lots of fun. I never believed in love at first sight, but I do now. It seems funny that if you aren't really looking, love walks out in front of you. The universe answers... Fatima is that miracle. She was sent from the heavens to find my lost soul in that chat room. Now we have incredible conversations and have shared very similar heartbreaks in our lives. I can't stop smiling when I think of her. I feel I had a lot of misdirected energies and Fatima is helping me redire...

Hard day today because I had to finally put the axe on Dana and I. I have to do the same with Lisa. I am so broke, I can't even afford to go get her from the airport. The thought has crossed my mind of becoming a Personal Trainer again. It would keep me busy and my mind off of money. I am really sad about where I am in life. I am upset that I don't save any money. I am resolving to spend less. I have to get my debts paid off. I hope to be more upbeat tomorrow Until next time