Chad Writes Stuff

I am off...thank goodness. Work seems to define who I am. If I am not working I seem to forget who I am. Don't really have any plans today so probably won't do anything, except get noah's light for the ride tomorrow night. It is a fun 20 mile ride that many people do in their PJ's. Some people take their boom boxes and crank up the music. Others decide to drink the entire ride. I will ride to have fun. Don't really have any long term goals. I will stay at the bike shop for a bit until I find something that challenges more. I work a program for the creative group in a few weeks in Phoenix. That should be fun. Other than that...giving a shout to my peeps. Talk to you soon...

So its 2006 and I am super excited.  I just got offered to work an event at this gem of a location: Playa Bonita Resort & Spa I am sure many of you are saying, "Oh Wow, You lead such a glorious life", but let me tell you the whole story before you start swooning. I had just moved back to San Diego from an epic fail of a move to Bradenton in my quest for becoming better or doing better or trying to move up the social scale.  I didn't know what I was going to do for work and was feeling the pressure from my fiancee at the time to "find a job".  It was bad enough that I had to move back home with my tail between my legs, what was worse was that I had to sell everything in the process and had no prospects for work.  I put out there that I was going to do some event logistics again. About a week after I put it out there, in December, I got a call from a good buddy of mine who asked if I wanted to work a program in Panama.  I said absolutely.  He gave me the dates...

Election day is tomorrow.  It has been a long time since journaling.  I need to do it more often.  I think it helps me sort out feelings and emotions.  Fatima and I are moving in a month.  It will be exciting and sad at the same time.  I miss the sunsets here.  I will surely miss the view and some of the people. School is very tough.  I am having a hard time adapting.  I don't seem to be grasping the concepts that simply.  Finance is kicking my ass.  I wan to get a job that will allow me to be responsible.  I think monotony has become law.  Fatima and I seem to be doing very well.  My money situation sucks ass.  I hope my loan disbursement goes okay, otherwise no apartment.  I fucked up my math Until next time...

Here again, a year later and no consistency.  I start my masters this weekend  and I am nervous as the fattened pig of spring.  I have been out of school for almost 10 years.  I am not sure what to expect.  I hope I can pull it off.  I am nervous about not working.  I gues that is just the norm for me.  I want to find a career but that seems near impossible in this day and age.  We have career expectancy of 1 to 3 years.  I am unsure of my own career path.  I chose computer information systems.  I am hoping technology is the field to stay in.  I have also planned to pursue real estate on the side.  I have that personality.  It seems as if I have been at the train station my whole life (or since the exit of college) Losing my job with TravelTrust was a huge blow to my ego.  I am certain I wasn't supposed to stay there.  The travel industry is a dying bird. Unemployment is 1600 per month which helps Fatima and I while I look for work.  I have an appointment with Enterprise on monday ...

Eventful yet stagnant day.  Worked a job in Santa Fe Springs today.  Saw a man walking his dog at 4:30, Geese flying in San Clemente, and an iridescent  green building just off the 5 outside of LA. Feelings were minimal, thoughts small.  What did i notice today, what did i learn.  Did i learn something, anything or anymore about myself.  The day was not insignificant, Every day has meaning, every day has purpose. Although most of the day was spent waiting and sleeping, I can't help but feel saddened by the current state of my life.  Frozen, unmoveable, tired, restless…stuck.  My life has become structure to achieve balance.  Balance begets conformity, conformity=norm.  Mediocrity is okay in everyones mind.  Settle or don't be sought after.  Was Thoreau wrong with transcendentalism?  becoming one with nature and surroundings.  What purpose do we achieve by letting go.  When we ascertain certain ideals, do we not forget the premise of other beliefs we have held.  Confidence is a ...