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January 8, 2001-Monday Blues

today was a blah day. Not a lot of hi's or low's, lust Blah as my father would call it. I spoke with the attorney about my wants/needs from the marriage.

Spoke with Julie about my email about me quitting my job and moving to california. She was really bummed. I really feel that i need to dig deeper and find myself. I am 29 years old and still have no clue. I am a collective mass of my parents ideals, friends beliefs, and religions stronghold. I am trying to break old thought patterns and leave old habits behind. Not sure if I will stay with Cornerstone. I am trying to seek out my calling.

Spoke with Maryann today. She called me actually concerned (more from her side because debts aren't being serviced) I explained that I plan to service the debts when I make money. She did no seem genuine at all. I am broke and realized that I won't make any of my bills this month. I may get a check on the 27th. That should get the ball rolling. I that i need to make $100,000.00 That will allow me to live a very comfortable life. I am trying to get focused. I learn new things every day.

Spoke with uncle Brad aka (Brickhead) and he doesn't know what he is doing either. I guess it is a family trait.

"Learn to love yourself beyond what you see in the mirror" chad bordes

Until next time...

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