Chad Writes Stuff

Dear Dad... W ell its been almost 11 years since you passed.  It seems a lot has changed since you were here, or at least it seems to me.  The biggest thing I notice is that you are not around for me to call anymore when I have those bad days.  I miss hearing your voice on the other end of the line.  Sometimes you gave advice and other times you just listened.  I always counted on you being there and I kinda miss it every so often. Mom is doing okay.  She misses you the most, although, i would say it is a tie.  She has her health issues, but she she is doing okay. I try to visit her as often as I possibly can. She is getting fragile but still as beautiful as you remember her.  She has a smile that warms the core of my being and our relationship since you passed has become incredibly strong.  If I can't come visit, I try and give her a call weekly just to let her know that I love her.  She is still an avid crossword and now souduku puzzle figure-outer (I just made that word, I know...

Too good not to post. Thank you Mom so much for sharing and helping me keep perspective. The Cab Ride I arrived at the address and honked the horn. after waiting a few minutes I walked to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware. 'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward th...

Many of you know that I have been having a rough time for the past three (to six months depending on who you ask ) months. Life has thrown questions my way and made me question everything. It wasn't until recently that I began to realize that life is not certain, and it is not fair. We see this everyday in everything around us, someone dies unexpectedly or some executive makes off with millions of hard working peoples money. Last night I went to see Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Some think its a kids movie, but truth is the series is about believing in yourself and understanding as you move forward, your worst fears will step into your path. Its our jobs to move past those fears and step into who we are destined to become...daily. See life is a journey, not a destination. We continually grow and sometimes way beyond what we ever thought we could possible do. C.S. Lewis, in my humbled opinion, was teaching us to love ourselves and accept who we a...

So today at starbucks I shocked the hell out of someone. I actually paid for their drink. She was so blown away by the whole experience. I am guessing that no one had ever done that before. She was really taken back by the whole experience. I said "Happy Holidays" and that i was paying it forward for her. I do that often. I like to pay for peoples drinks, since i frequent starbucks so much. I think it is a great conversation starter and a great way to make an instant friend. That was a good deed for the day. Today I also hired an accountant. Scary but necessary. In starting the new company, i just want to make sure everything is legit. At $25 an hour, i think it is a worthwhile investment moving forward. Time will tell how it works out. I am optimistic and hope all is well. It is quiet around the holidays right now for me. Aside from some last minute business requests, everything is going great. I can say that i am sad for the first time in many of my years. ...

So i have this shirt that i bought at Nordstrom from the RVCA network. It has the above mentioned wording and a picture of a dove, that looks like it is flying upside down. I wear the shirt every so often, and i get some interesting comments on it. Most people laugh when they read it. I tried to figure out what it means to me. I am a decent person and try to be great to my fellow human being. In thinking about this shirt and its relevance to me and realize that after my break up 2 years ago to my ex-fiance, the shirt talks directly about my ability to have emotions. Either she or the relationship caused me to not care anymore, not about people, but to really get involved in relationships. I have a hard time getting emotionally involved with anyone. Part of it is because, I don't feel i have the ability to let go like that anymore. When you give so much of yourself to someone, you lose faith in yourself. When you lose faith in yourself, you have lost the game. My problem i...