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Showing posts from 1998

1998-12-25; Christmas day

Today was a great day. We opened presents at 9:30 after sleeping in for a bit. Maryann bought me some new cords from J Crew. She also bought me a leatherman tool and a MontBlanc Pen...

I got her a few things that she wanted as well. I played on our new Gateway computer for a while. I found out I was overdrawn by 200 bones. Primarily because of the $250 deductable I had to pay for the car repairs. (I wrecked the Montero)

Loki and Jasmine got new Dino's (don't ask me...Maryann made up the terms...apparently they are chew toys.) They seemed to enjoy them. They even opened them. I got maryann a wallet that she may take back and get something else for.

It seemed that it was a good day.

Until next time...

1998-12-21-Writing again after time...

Time to write again. Here it is almost 2 years since i started this Colorado Journey. So much has happened. I am married, I closed a failing personal training business, changed careers (again) and seem to be no better off than I was 2 years ago.

My cycle is repeating. I am again $18,000 in debt. $10K more than 2 years ago. Have I not learned anything????? I need to find myself, my center again. Who am I? What am I all about? Stop your fakeness and become real and happy. No more spending. The bad news of it all is that Maryann and I will not be able to go on a honeymoon. Any money we make has to go back to her father. Enough...Life is good. no more false me. Meditate. Become one with the world. Stop Falsifying your life and become what you are destined to be

Until next time...

1998-09-24-Married???

I got married today. Maryann and I went to the Courthouse and tied the knot officially. What a great day. I am married to the most beautiful person in the world. We will have a ceremony on May 29th of 99. I am very happy. Everyone else in the family is elated also

wooo hooo

Until next time...

1998-09-07-Labor Day

I am a good person and I respect everyone. I am on this journey for a reason.

I have become increasingly negative as I dive deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. This must stop or I will kill myself. Things are going well yet I am forecasting negative. Focus on the positive, focus on the good. Focus on the feeling of good. Think about getting the montero sport and the positive feeling of working towards ownership. Stop focusing on the negative and what you don't want.

Which feeling have you been? Which would you like to be? Become the former, learn the latter...

Until next time...

1998-08-01-27...really????

Well today I turned 27. Fuck me. 3 years til 30. Wow. I thought to myself why push myself towards societies standards. Money is an object which will never bring me happiness or security. If I make 40K a year, I would still find a way to be in debt. Life is what it is. No more or no less. When we love ourselves and forget about our physical happiness, then we will become truly happy. Money buys physical things and mental anguish. Spirituality and self are key.Keep focused.

Until next time...

1998-07-27-knowledge is power

Today was okay. Delta and British Airways announced a $198 Round trip to London today. It was very busy and I got tired as the day progressed. I ticketed Chad Straussers reservation back to new york today. I also found some time to get info on justice of the peace. I felt motivated about training both myself and others. I want to get serious again about training. I realize how powerful knowledge is. I am super thankful that tony has let me use his truck. it really helps. Until next time...

1998-07-23 Crappy day?

Well today started crapy and got worse. I woke up late and wasn't able to train Kathe, what this means is that she probably dropped me as a client.

Work was slammed. Everyone is changing their flights to the new BA flights that start from Dever to Gatwick on September 1. I had to handwrite some tickets with may or not be used and to top it off I was stressed all day, except when helping Bridgette with her workout program.

I want to become more positive and influential again. Nobody respects me it seems. Only learning will reveal the truth. One day at a time

Until next time...

1998-07-22-Return from Mississippi

Well all is well since our return from Mississippi. It was great to see my mom and dad, Cousin Damillo and Leigh, Ryan and Holli, Brad and Cindy and the kids. We got to see Christopher Cross at the Grand Casino in Gulfport and I have to say, he is better in person then he is on CD.

Today was a busy one. I feel the need to grow again. I enjoy doing the travel stuff, however, I was told about a job in fitnesss that is right up my alley. I have to give it some thought. The money would be way better than Globus and cosmos. I want to get a car, however, I get scared at times that I won't be...what I am saying is, a year ago, I had no fear. I was more positive and I want to get back to that point.

I don't want to set myself up for failure. I feel that I have a lot to offer, however, I am stuck. I am not moving forward. I am very important, I am good, I am on this journey for a reason. I am going to enjoy the journey and the process of becoming.

I learned a lot today.

Until n…

1998-19-06-yard work

Well it has been several months since my last entry. I changed careers and am working at Globus and Cosmos. I got promoted to Staff Travel agent and am in charge of multi million dollar travel accounts, staff travel budgets and much more. My dad was right, this industry is hell on your nerves. I like what I do, but hate my attitude towards it.

I used to be extremely positive and extremely fit. Currently I am neither. i must change. I have to learn to meditate.

Today Maryann and I pulled weeds and fixed two more sprinkler heads. We took a nap after shopping for fathers day and then wento to eat at the Olive Garden. I am sore and need a massage...

Until next time...

1998-02-05-Massive Stroke

Today was a really tough day. My dad called and said Grandpa Bordes had a massive stroke last night. After the surgery, the doc said Gramps will have very limited mobility and vocabulary. It is so sad that such a strong and influential person is just brought down to an existence. My gramps was such a driving force in my life. Everybody but me was able to be there with and for him. I wish, or should say that I hope he still remembers that I love him and allways will.

Grandpa, I know you can hear me....Thank you! For all that you have done in my life and for me. Thank you for always being there and showing me love that can never be paralleled. From our fishing trips to our mornings of Mary Tyler Moore. Thank you for imprinting the image of perfection and true love in my mind. I miss you and wish that I could be there to hold your hand.

I got a call back for my second interview with Globus and Cosmos. I interview at 11am tomorrow. I am expecting the best. I am still pursuing…

1998-02-04-1 year since i moved

Well yesterday was a year since I moved here to Colorado. So much has changed. I have my own business now. I am engaged to be married...WOW! What a difference a day makes. I have decided to make total fitness concepts a nationwide company. I am to to figure out all the expenses for startup, a van with all the equipment, advertising and support. I am going to make an information packet for prospective buyers. This will allow me to do what I love and still make money. It all starts with a dream. If I devote myself to doing this for one year, I will be a success. Even if I don't make that much money, I will learn about franchising.

I interviewed with Globus and Cosmos today. I am pretty sure that I am in. They really liked me. The pay isn't that great, but it is consistent.

Life is continually getting better. I would like to be debt free by 30 meaning no credit cards debt or department store debt) That is an immediate short term goal. I also want to be the best fia…

1998-02-01-a year in the life

Its hard to fathom that a year has passed. Last year at this time, Johnny and I were on the road out here. Actually we left and stayed at our friends house in Alexandria. I am now engaged (yes engaged, happened on New Years Eve...i got down on 1 knee and asked Maryann to Marry me) and I am happy. I feel like I have come a long way. Time is one of those un-holdable commodoties. It is good be to able to look back at how far one has traveled.

I have been so stressed lately about money. Why? I think because of my old habits. Its kind of a defense mechanism maybe to help me cope (I am assuming). Like my dad said on the phone today, "People don't want to hear about all of your negative shit, they want to and need to hear the positive stuff that is going on in your
life..."

Maryann and I got taxes done today and hopefully we will be getting about 1500 back. This should help us get a small nest egg started.

Today was laid back. We went to southglenn mall. Maryann got he…

1998-01-11-Test results

Well the weekend wasn't bad but it wasn't great either. I got my results back from the CSCS and I did not pass. What a fucking disappointment. To top it off, i bounced a check and had $20 debited from my account. It is forcing me to do some soul searching and ask myself, "Will it be this way for the rest of my life?" I love what i do, but living day to day, bill to bill is a shitty existence. It seems that I am not able to plan for the future like I want to.

I guess that life has its ups and downs and they all happen for a reason...to see how you deal with them. Not everything goes peachy all the time. All I can do is just learn from my experiences. I feel like such a disaster to my father who has invested so much money in me and I have given him nothing in return. I just don't want to written off as a bad debt in the family.

I guess time has a way of ironing out the wrinkles in our lives. Maryann has been very supportive and non-judgmental. She makes m…