Chad Writes Stuff

Today was a great day. I woke up at 11 and made breakfast and coffee. I studied for the CSCS as the Library for a few hours and wend and saw "The Rainmaker" . Very intersting. 3 out of 5 for me. I asked Maryann to go with me but she had to go to Mike's parents house for Mike's dad's birthday. Bummer. I would have loved to have seen her. Life seems to be getting better. I called my dad today. I could tell he had been drinking. It was sad but not the end of the world. Even though he is having a bad day, I still see his light. He is such a wonderful person. Nothing or noone can change that. I look forward to tomorrow. I would really like to fall in love with Maryann. Maybe I will, maybe i won't. I like her but I am still doubtful that I should be in a relationship. Life is mysterious and odd at times and I must be able to accept change. I long for knowledge. Until tomorrow.

Woke up at 6:30, had some coffee and headed to the gym. I trained 4 clients and saw Kathe. I asked her how she was doing, she seems to be good, not great, just good. I told her if she needs anything, to call me. I had to cancel going to the game with Kim and cancelled my appointment with Kate because I forgot about my extra clients today. I called Maryann and asked her to join me at dinner at the bent noodle . She said she had no plans and agreed. We arrived about 7pm and she had the pleasure of meeting Tony, Paul, Jackie, Ofer and Rodney (Sandra, his wife couldn't make it). Maryann seemed to like them, and they her. After dinner we went to Champps . We had a few drinks and chatted about our lives and how we ended up in Colorado. We went back to her place, I guess her boyfriend was out of town snowboarding. I sensed that we wanted to kiss, but somehow we refrained. There is something about her that I am very attracted to. I wish I could figure out what it was. I will pro...

Today turned out to be a great day. It was very positive and very uplifting. I spoke with my friend Kathe about her son Mike. She was very distressed about him. I shared some information about myself while I was in college. She is concerned that he may be addicted to narcotics. She emailed me back and told me how great she felt talking to me and about how wonderful I am for being there for her. She asked if i would be willing to talk with Tom about everything. I told her absolutely. I had lunch with MaryAnn at Einsteins. She seems really cool. I have to remember to keep my distance because she is in a relationship. I also recognize that pain would be a long hard road to recover from. I wrote Kira a letter and told her how I feel. I hope I don't hurt her...I hate doing that. I respect her alot and like her as a friend. Until next time...

Well today sucked. I had all but three of my clients cancel. I didn't get shit accomplished I had lunch with Tony and John at a place called Peppinos . It was very tasty and good. I came home and slept until 6pm. I had to train Trish at 7pm. Trish is a blessing. She has allowed me to train her in exchange for Dental work. My teeth would never get cleaned if not. Trish if you read this, thank you very much. I worked out from 8-9:30 and came home. I talked to Maryann and Kira. I need to tell Kira how I truly feel. I will try and write tomorrow. Until next time...

I fulfilled a need I have had for a long time. Sex is great and a necessary part of life. I pursued it last night with maryann's friend Kira. It was pretty darn good. Sometimes I feel like I pursued it for the wrong reasons. Fulfillment of the heart brings greater reward. I thought of Maryann last night, not during, but after. I felt i would have waited or pursued her for reasons of the heart, rather than lust, my feelings would be safer. Denying the heart and pursuing emotions has been a fault in the past. I must learn to pursue love and sex from the heart. In all today was a good day. I learned I have grown enormously in my emotional and intellectual aspect of life. I will become a great person. Until next time...