The king of confusion

the more i learn, the less i really know. A good friend of mine said that to me once. I didn't understand it when he told me. I thought about it for a long time and finally it clicked. It seems that these wise words are never more true then as they are now in my life. I seem to have forgotten how to have a relationship. The more i try, the less i avert...

I find myself falling in and out of love on a daily basis. I see a beautiful woman and i am consumed by "what ifs". A whole parade of fantasies comes into my head. I also wonder if i could really be with one woman for the rest of my life? Is there really a "perfect one"? Are we meant to be in relationships "forever"? Is there such a thing as true love, or is it something we are conditioned to at a young age?

People always tell me, "oh you will meet someone someday" or "when you meet that person you will know". I have to say, i thought i knew about a hundred times already and my judgement has been so far off that I can say with some certainty, i am stupid when it comes to love. I feel that i will be forever the pool boy or forever in love. Love seems to come in waves and is it justifiable that it can only be given to one person. Why do we have to be monogamous, rather than polyamourus? Is it just because a book tells us that there is one man for one woman? What about the gay or lesbian who finds the "one" man or one woman to love, are they wrong because they are the same sex? I just can't seem to find answers. The more i look the more I ask, the more i don't know