Chad Writes Stuff

Dear Dad... W ell its been almost 11 years since you passed.  It seems a lot has changed since you were here, or at least it seems to me.  The biggest thing I notice is that you are not around for me to call anymore when I have those bad days.  I miss hearing your voice on the other end of the line.  Sometimes you gave advice and other times you just listened.  I always counted on you being there and I kinda miss it every so often. Mom is doing okay.  She misses you the most, although, i would say it is a tie.  She has her health issues, but she she is doing okay. I try to visit her as often as I possibly can. She is getting fragile but still as beautiful as you remember her.  She has a smile that warms the core of my being and our relationship since you passed has become incredibly strong.  If I can't come visit, I try and give her a call weekly just to let her know that I love her.  She is still an avid crossword and now souduku puzzle figure-outer (I just made that word, I know...

  Lots of people are going to be making New Years Resolutions. I will be in that category also, however, I feel my list will be a bit smaller. I wrote on my wall yesterday some of the things I want to accomplish. 1. Drink more water 2. 2 Cups of coffee per day 3. Exercise on a daily basis I made my list simple for a reason. Most people start the New Year with a list of things they want to accomplish, but somewhere along the line of going through the motions, they forget to keep a running tab. The list is so long that it becomes a chore and everyone knows that chores downright suck! You see its my belief to keep things simple. Give yourself some attainable goals that are relatively easy to follow. Trust me we are all perfect in our own right, but for the sake of not becoming as stagnant as a pond in the middle of the swamp, we all strive to make small differences in ourselves, small but noticeable differences that are passably easy to follow. By making large lists, you are...

I woke up this morning in a different place, a different state of mind. I walked downstairs, greeted by my three loving kitties, Pepper, Precious and Tigher and placed food in their bowls. I smiled as i finished filling their bowls because I know how happy they get for their breakfast. I may not be able to give much to the world, but for these three girls, I can provide a loving, nurturing home for them to live in. Thats something to be thankful for. I walked into the kitchen and turned on the TV and began to watch one of the big name news channel. I noticed how the news seems to be focused on the things that don't really matter (not a new revelation-just a refresher). We have enough bad news to deal with every day. It would be nice to see a different news company, that focused on the goodness and wonder that happens on a daily basis. (I have one company in mind that could do a fantastic job of it MindFox Productions , I met Dr Fox and he has a wonderful energy and could do...

Sometimes we don't know how we are going to get there. We see all of the obstacles that keep us from whatever the goal is. We think of all that isn't, instead of all that is. We make excuses and say it isn't possible. What if you could change all that? What if you saw doorways opening, the universe aligning and possibilities expanding? What is stopping you from seeing things the latter way? Its your mind. These past few weeks have been tough for me. I have had to let go of control of many things and one of them being, that I am really not in control of anything. I am present and in the moment and try to find joy in all things that surround me. Financially, my life is a wreck. I am not sure if I will be able to scrape together funds to pay my rent, as well as car note, school loans, credit card and groceries and put gas in my tank. What I can only focus on right now. I am not sure about what or where my future will take me. I am not in control of that. I cannot t...

Well as we all know, if you search hard enough for something you will find it. I guess its just the curious nature of us being human. We sometimes need to know something, anything about a person or even to just find a person that may have been a part of our past. That is what facebook and myspace are all about, right? We connect with old high school or junior high friends to acquire information about their life and hope that they are well. We see pictures of their family now, reminisce about days of glory past and move on.l Tonight I just happened to be curious and looked up an old friend of mine. Two people with the same name popped up in facebook. I looked at friends to see if i recognized any old acquaintances and no one really stuck out. I scrolled a little further and froze. There on the screen was a picture of my ex wife. I knew then it was the friend I was looking for. I began to think about that life that i walked away from almost 10 years ago. I thought of my belief...

I am feeling more confident in my writing. As this was writen in my journal originally, the script was clean and not cursive. My journey to Mississippi was more one of growth than of loss. Although my father passed, and I miss him terribly, this trip seemed to be about life and growing up. So often we think that life will last forever and that the ones we love will always be there. This is not the case. We live, we learn, we love and eventually we pass on. Our physical bodies expire. So often in my life I get caught up in everything around me that I forget about what is really going on in life. So often I have been alone on my journey that I forget the importance of meeting those special people along the path. On numerous occasions, I have met people that have opened their hearts to me, showing love an understanding, and in all the instances, i seemed to have pushed them away. I have done this either by not showing my love in return, or ignoring basic needs. I feel this is w...