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2000-09-07- a dream

In my dream, Maryann asked me twice, "Are we making the right decision?" I replied, "I feel in my heart, I feel it is so. I think it has to do with last night's counseling session and her need for assistance on making decisions.

I meditated today for about 10-15 minutes and the outcome was unreal. My question to my higher power, was "does she love him more than me?" The overwhelming response that I heard was, "No, she loves you not him.." I sat quiet again for a moment and once again heard, "she loves you not him. Mark filled a need that you did not. He was there for her at a time when you were somewhere else. She wants and loves you but feels betrayed and angry"

I still love Maryann. If she could learn to be faithful to me, I promise to love her like none she has ever known. She is my night and my day. She is my shield and my friend. She has been there for me during my low times and the favor shall be repaid.

I realize that I am not all I cooked myself up to be. I need to focus on Maryann, being a light in her life, be there for her when she is down. I look forward to rebuilding our relationship. Last night, we embraced most of the evening. It was incredible. She is soft and sweet. She has the face of an angel. I love the smell of her body and it cannot be described. It is heavenly. I hope one day that intimacy will become a part of our life. I feel it will as she has made love to me like no other. Making love to her is spiritual and she knows my desires and i know hers.

As I stare at her picture, I am reminded of the many expressions that she has. How wonderful is she? I cannot count them all. She lights my soul like no other. Maryann, my wife, I shall from this day forth be reminded of how I hurt you in accordance with the emptiness of my soul. Never shall I cause you grief as in the past. Communication guides us and helps us stay strong towards one another. Love is how i feel for you, and smite our blistered past. Love me now and forever our true love doth last.

Until next time....


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