2000-09-11-Emotionally drained

Well today was very hard again emotionally. Maryann read a letter
that she wrote and said she still wishes she was carrying our child. I find it extremely hard to believe after a weekend with Mark. I think she said it to make me feel better. Who knows... I only worked till 11:30 today due to her flight coming in. I had to wrestle with emotions, but in the end, I think I am okay with moving on.

She admitted to having sex this weekend. She said she didn't but I know better in my heart. She might not love Mark, but she sure doesn't love me. Time to move on. Acceptance---It happened and there is no more making love to her. No more cuddling, just talk. (As i am writing this I am thinking "I wish i could make love to her because she looks so good"

Time to move on for me. I will miss her but I have learned so much. I don't want to write anymore today. I am tired of writing for now and will read. Goodnight...

I do love me.

Until next time...