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2000-09-10-moving about and breathing

Went to the movies and saw "What lies beneath" Very good thriller with Harrison ford and Michelle Pfieffer. I saw this really attractive girl in the theatre by herself. I wanted to go talk to her, but i lost my gumption. When the movie ended, she was walking pretty close to me. I opened the door for her and held it open for a second. She said, "Thank you...", with a huge smile on her face. I am not sure if she lives around here. Any how, Strausser said "never miss an opportunity" I like it and may use it as my motto.

I would say, my self esteem has taken a blow which in turn as affected my courage. I am going to try and be positive about this situation. Not for Maryann, but for me. I am being given a new lease on life or a second chance or a do over. I guess I need to look at it like, "I now get to design the perfect mate for me"

Maryann is totally all about the money. I somehow feel that she was saying things this whole time that actually applied to her. She made bad decisions in relationships that "I/me" loose interest in quickly for example, She is the one who has a track record of going from one guy to the next, in search of Mr. Right. I should have taken a closer look at her past to see that. With that said, I will know what I am looking for in the next one.

I am also impressed when I look into the mirror and see my physique. I am thankful for Body For Life. So far it seems to be a great routine. I am reading, "Rebuilding, after the relationship ends". Ms Atwater (my counselor and mentor), gave it to me to read. I will be done by next week and it is a quick and good read.

Looking forward a bit. It is going to be awkward to pick up Maryann at the airport tomorrow. I need to remember "Business as Usual" You have already dealt with the negative of what has happened. Focus on yourself and the positive things. You are very strong Chad, You have been to hell and back and most people would not be able to cope. (Father died on August 24 and I found out about the affair two days)

Sometimes its important to remember, once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up. I love myself and am proud of my accomplishments

Until next time...

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