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September 26, 2000-Tuesday

Great workout!
Stuck to my eating plan (Body for Life)
Sent out resume's all day. I just finished reading, "You don't have to make everything all better" and began "Excuse me, Your life is waiting. What a fantastic book. It says that your life is about your feelings. Feel sad and attract sadness into your life. Feel happy and attract happiness and love into your life.

Maryann is very unhappy. I, or should i say, she said that I invalidated her feelings. She got so mad that she made me move all of my stuff out of her room. We talked but to no avail. I wasn't hearing her and she wasn't hearing me. It was an argument grudge match with no real winner. We both became extremely upset. She realized that we aren't compatible for each other. We tried to understand where the other is coming from, where we went wrong...this was a bad idea because it lead to more arguing.

Mark (the man she had the affair with) called while we were arguing. This really pissed me off! Why????? The relationship is over. I want Mark out of the picture before i divest another ounce of my emotions in this fucked up relationship.

I need to learn about this book more. It is really good and seems to hold some strong truths to it. I feel this book is guiding me to live a better life. I am learning to erradicate my old negative behaviors, thoughts and patterns. Positivity and love really fills my heart right now. I seem spiritually high. I will get what i want and feel. I am radiating with energy and love myself more each day.

More tomorrow...


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Feels like a throat punch to my heart

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I got a text message from a close colleague I used to work with at a previous job.

Beck: "whats shakin CB"
Me: "Not much just wanted to say hello.  Had a wake up call today.  Found out first girlfriends sister just passed away.  So sad...she was young"

Screw back up plans

Yes I said it.  Yes I have had quite a few unsuccessful ventures and I have recently started reading blogs that suggest backup plans.  I don't agree and I will tell you why.

When you have a back up plan you have an "oh shit that didn't work and I have to do something about it". Its like whatever it is going on in your life is going to fail or stop being at some point. Newsflash: You are correct!  NOTHING lasts forever. Your job, your marriage, your income stream, your family and most certainly not your startup or your job.  For those of you wishing to go back to the old days, its not going to happen.  The age of chivalry is dying and the startup that you create will be dead within 10-15 years.  We don't live in our parents or grandparents economy. Hell the way we communicate is changing. See example below and try and decipher what I am saying to you


Did you figure it out yet.  If so, please pat yourself …

Just a friendly update on me :-)

Hey everyone

Just wanted to give an update. You may remember that I said I was going to be coming back to California, well it is official.  I am heading down May 1. I will most likely take the train and stop in Napa to visit my cousin Stephen Bordes at his winery for a day or two.  From there, I will catch a train to San diego.

I am currently looking for work and open to any positions that may be available, I just ask that you don't hold it against me because I have a masters degree.  I have seen many companies shy away from hiring me because I have a Masters Degree.  I am honestly looking to get off my feet and find a base of operation. My home is California and I know that now.  I am native and the air, soil and water are in my bones.

I am looking to establish which means I will need to find a place to live (that I pay for monthly), maybe even get a car (down the road) for now I know that I will have to use the bus and I am okay with that. I am nervous as hell about this move …