Chad Writes Stuff

Dear Dad... W ell its been almost 11 years since you passed.  It seems a lot has changed since you were here, or at least it seems to me.  The biggest thing I notice is that you are not around for me to call anymore when I have those bad days.  I miss hearing your voice on the other end of the line.  Sometimes you gave advice and other times you just listened.  I always counted on you being there and I kinda miss it every so often. Mom is doing okay.  She misses you the most, although, i would say it is a tie.  She has her health issues, but she she is doing okay. I try to visit her as often as I possibly can. She is getting fragile but still as beautiful as you remember her.  She has a smile that warms the core of my being and our relationship since you passed has become incredibly strong.  If I can't come visit, I try and give her a call weekly just to let her know that I love her.  She is still an avid crossword and now souduku puzzle figure-outer (I just made that word, I know...

Too good not to post. Thank you Mom so much for sharing and helping me keep perspective. The Cab Ride I arrived at the address and honked the horn. after waiting a few minutes I walked to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware. 'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward th...

There are lights in our mist. People that pay attention to you even though you don't know they are there. Friends who care about us, even when we are at our darkest points. All you have to do is reach out to them Last night I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Marshall Crawford. He has been a friend on facebook for almost a year and we have had conversations back and forth regarding life and what not. He had been reading my posts and noticed they changed from good to melancholy to downright miserable. You see this year has been the most trying year of my life, as I am sure it has been for many people. I know friends that are losing their houses and having to declare bankruptcy. There are tough times currently and still ahead, but it is our attitude that takes us away from the despair. My situation is no different. I have been working in a particular industry for many years and have loved what I have done, however, this year, the business fell out from under me. On average I a...

I woke up this morning in a different place, a different state of mind. I walked downstairs, greeted by my three loving kitties, Pepper, Precious and Tigher and placed food in their bowls. I smiled as i finished filling their bowls because I know how happy they get for their breakfast. I may not be able to give much to the world, but for these three girls, I can provide a loving, nurturing home for them to live in. Thats something to be thankful for. I walked into the kitchen and turned on the TV and began to watch one of the big name news channel. I noticed how the news seems to be focused on the things that don't really matter (not a new revelation-just a refresher). We have enough bad news to deal with every day. It would be nice to see a different news company, that focused on the goodness and wonder that happens on a daily basis. (I have one company in mind that could do a fantastic job of it MindFox Productions , I met Dr Fox and he has a wonderful energy and could do...

Sometimes we don't know how we are going to get there. We see all of the obstacles that keep us from whatever the goal is. We think of all that isn't, instead of all that is. We make excuses and say it isn't possible. What if you could change all that? What if you saw doorways opening, the universe aligning and possibilities expanding? What is stopping you from seeing things the latter way? Its your mind. These past few weeks have been tough for me. I have had to let go of control of many things and one of them being, that I am really not in control of anything. I am present and in the moment and try to find joy in all things that surround me. Financially, my life is a wreck. I am not sure if I will be able to scrape together funds to pay my rent, as well as car note, school loans, credit card and groceries and put gas in my tank. What I can only focus on right now. I am not sure about what or where my future will take me. I am not in control of that. I cannot t...

I just got a message from a long time friend whom I have known since the seventh grade. She has had trouble sleeping and is stressed in her current situation. She and her husband were both layed off. This has to be tough considering they have children. I imagine this is something that is plaguing all of america at this time. I am reminded of a song by "A Fine Frenzy" Hope for the hopeless... Stitch in your knitted brow and you don't know how you're gonna get it out crushed under heavy chest trying to catch your breath but it always beats you by a step, all right now making the best of it playing the hand you get you're not alone in this there's hope for the hopeless there's hope for the hopeless there's hope cold in a summer breeze yeah, you're shivering on your bended knee still, when you're heart is sore and the heavens pour like a willow bending with the storm, you'll make it running against the wind playi...

Sometimes when i look at my life and really analyze it, i realize how blessed i am and it makes me cry. The amazing friends i have made who chime in at all the right moments, the journeys i have been on, and the sights i have seen. Its not tears of sadness, its tears of joys from all of the blessings that i have in my life. My three kitties were so excited to see me. I look in their eyes and I swear i have a hard time holding back all of the tears. I feel the love they give me on a daily basis. They in some wierd way realize that i have to work, but when i do come home, they are so happy to see me. I leave this blog simple and thankful. I am going to see Greg Laswell tonight so I paste the words in hopes that his music will move you as much as it does me... I'm going to see some friends from out of state The very trip that you were supposed to take a while ago But it fell through Like all of you Like all of you Thought i'd make the drive but a free plane ride is in the ai...

So it seems that I am different than the normal human. I only need 6 hours of sleep. I have no clue why that is. Last night i was in bed and out by 8:30 (I know...old man), but i was tired and ran around all day. I fell asleep while reading "Confederacy of Dunces". I didn't actually fall asleep, I was just getting groggy. I remember getting a call at 8:40 and soon after that conversation, I was out like a light. I slept pleasantly, albeit with two kitties by my side...actually 1 in between my legs (precious) because that is where she always sleeps and tigher off to my left. I tend to always sleep on my back and occasionally on my side. Last night there was no movement, and it was straight back sleep all night. Without a noise, without a peep, I woke up at 2:30 on the nose this morning. I wasn't tired and in calculating sleep time, i was true to my 6 hours. I tend to feel unrested and un accomplished when i sleep more than 6. I believe 5 to six is my persona...

So today at starbucks I shocked the hell out of someone. I actually paid for their drink. She was so blown away by the whole experience. I am guessing that no one had ever done that before. She was really taken back by the whole experience. I said "Happy Holidays" and that i was paying it forward for her. I do that often. I like to pay for peoples drinks, since i frequent starbucks so much. I think it is a great conversation starter and a great way to make an instant friend. That was a good deed for the day. Today I also hired an accountant. Scary but necessary. In starting the new company, i just want to make sure everything is legit. At $25 an hour, i think it is a worthwhile investment moving forward. Time will tell how it works out. I am optimistic and hope all is well. It is quiet around the holidays right now for me. Aside from some last minute business requests, everything is going great. I can say that i am sad for the first time in many of my years. ...

Today was a good day.  I woke up and worked out.  I spoke with Gerald, my coworker from the gym.  I also spoke to my dad.  I know he hates to see me leave, but deep down, I think he knows what is best for me.  I told him that I was unhappy here in Florida and that I was becoming stagnant in the midst of my daily routines. At work I received tons of support from great friends, Donna and Angela as well as Kathy Vail.  Donna is so sweet and has been inviting me over to her house for dinner since she knows I am a bachelor.  Her husband has been challenging me to eat these amazingly hot peppers and follow them with a shot of good whiskey, when I go over to eat.  Quite funny but I think i whooped his ass the last time. He turned beet red and Donna, just laughed. I ended up going to the movies with Angela tonight.  She is like one of the guys, although she is very smart and cute.  We saw " 1st wives club " and it was pretty cute.  I actual...