Showing posts from 1997

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1997-11-23-studying for the CSCS

Today was a great day. I woke up at 11 and made breakfast and coffee. I studied for the CSCS as the Library for a few hours and wend and saw "The Rainmaker". Very intersting. 3 out of 5 for me.

I asked Maryann to go with me but she had to go to Mike's parents house for Mike's dad's birthday. Bummer. I would have loved to have seen her. Life seems to be getting better.

I called my dad today. I could tell he had been drinking. It was sad but not the end of the world. Even though he is having a bad day, I still see his light. He is such a wonderful person. Nothing or noone can change that. I look forward to tomorrow.

I would really like to fall in love with Maryann. Maybe I will, maybe i won't. I like her but I am still doubtful that I should be in a relationship. Life is mysterious and odd at times and I must be able to accept change. I long for knowledge.

Until tomorrow.

1997-11-22-Dinner with Maryann?

Woke up at 6:30, had some coffee and headed to the gym. I trained 4 clients and saw Kathe. I asked her how she was doing, she seems to be good, not great, just good. I told her if she needs anything, to call me. I had to cancel going to the game with Kim and cancelled my appointment with Kate because I forgot about my extra clients today.

I called Maryann and asked her to join me at dinner at the bent noodle. She said she had no plans and agreed. We arrived about 7pm and she had the pleasure of meeting Tony, Paul, Jackie, Ofer and Rodney (Sandra, his wife couldn't make it). Maryann seemed to like them, and they her.

After dinner we went to Champps. We had a few drinks and chatted about our lives and how we ended up in Colorado. We went back to her place, I guess her boyfriend was out of town snowboarding. I sensed that we wanted to kiss, but somehow we refrained.

There is something about her that I am very attracted to. I wish I could figure out what it was. I will proceed…

1997-10-18-being there for a friend

Today turned out to be a great day. It was very positive and very uplifting. I spoke with my friend Kathe about her son Mike. She was very distressed about him. I shared some information about myself while I was in college. She is concerned that he may be addicted to narcotics. She emailed me back and told me how great she felt talking to me and about how wonderful I am for being there for her. She asked if i would be willing to talk with Tom about everything. I told her absolutely.

I had lunch with MaryAnn at Einsteins. She seems really cool. I have to remember to keep my distance because she is in a relationship. I also recognize that pain would be a long hard road to recover from.

I wrote Kira a letter and told her how I feel. I hope I don't hurt her...I hate doing that. I respect her alot and like her as a friend.

Until next time...

1997-10-17-shitty day

Well today sucked. I had all but three of my clients cancel. I didn't get shit accomplished

I had lunch with Tony and John at a place called Peppinos. It was very tasty and good.

I came home and slept until 6pm. I had to train Trish at 7pm. Trish is a blessing. She has allowed me to train her in exchange for Dental work. My teeth would never get cleaned if not. Trish if you read this, thank you very much.

I worked out from 8-9:30 and came home. I talked to Maryann and Kira. I need to tell Kira how I truly feel. I will try and write tomorrow.

Until next time...

1997-10-16-Fun and the single life

I fulfilled a need I have had for a long time. Sex is great and a necessary part of life. I pursued it last night with maryann's friend Kira. It was pretty darn good. Sometimes I feel like I pursued it for the wrong reasons. Fulfillment of the heart brings greater reward.

I thought of Maryann last night, not during, but after. I felt i would have waited or pursued her for reasons of the heart, rather than lust, my feelings would be safer. Denying the heart and pursuing emotions has been a fault in the past. I must learn to pursue love and sex from the heart.

In all today was a good day. I learned I have grown enormously in my emotional and intellectual aspect of life. I will become a great person.

Until next time...

1997-06-11-Long day

Woke up and headed to the gym and trained peeps today. I drank another assload of coffee again today to get me going. I trained all my clients, then myself, and headed home and slept. I was extremely tired.

I trained Maribeth and MaryAnn. Maryann is beautiful. I wish I would have met her earlier. I think she is in a ltr. I would like to fall in love. I want to be successful and good at something in my life. I hope to find out what that is soon in my life..

I called Lorrie and left a message with her roommate. Watched "One Fine Day". Its cute but different. Life continues and I am scared. Suicide entered my thoughts again today.

Until next time...

1997-06-10-Today was a good day

Interesting day as all of my clients for the morning cancelled. Had one at 9:00. I ended up working at Tony's for 3 hours. Came home and watched "Swingers". It was absolutely hillarious. Vegas Baby, Vegas!

Overall, it was a good day. I am still working on acheiving my goals, it just seems that lately I can't see past all the fog, oh well...push on.

I trained a few people this evening. Met up with an old client Jeff Johnson. Went out at 10:30 to "America's Bar and Grille" I ended up meeting a cute girl named Lorrie and got a phone number from her.

Got home at 2am and have to get up at 3:15 because I have to train clients at 4:30. Nucking futs.

Until next time...

1997-06-09-Journaling again

Well it has been a while since I have written. I need to be continuous in my writings so that I can make sense of this madness at times. I have been very depressed and lonely lately. I feel I need to be further along in my journey than I am right now. I feeel I should be making more money and be in a serious relationship. I think a lot of that is societal. Its the societal values coming out or manifesting in me. I have decided that 35 an hour for my services is too cheap. I need to go up to 45 an hour. This will help me pay my bills in a timely manner.

Today was an okay day. I am looking forward to tomorrow and feel it will be better. I mailed some letters and a majority of my bills off today. I also did some deep muscle relaxation. It was awesome. I am sure I will sleep like a log.

Until Next time...

PS. I have this crazy idea to tackle the corporate fitness market. I need to chat with my friend Tammy about it.

1997-02-14-First club experience in Denver

Woke up and drank an assload of coffee. I drove to Colorado National bank and opened an account. I needed to put my money somewhere. My checks finally came in from Alta care and I got a final check from Monsanto also.

I went with Dan to LePeeps What a kick ass breakfast. I had one of their skillets and 1000 more cups of coffee....WIRED.

Dan trained Mindy and then called me and asked me to come over later to go to the movies and then clubbing. He gave me a boatload of leads. They were clients that he couldn't train with his company anymore so he gave them to me on the DL. I closed a few of them, which was good because i need some extra revenue.

Dan, jeff and I saw "Space Jam" then we headed to Giggling Grizzly in lodo. Had a great time. Had a few beers, relaxed and listened to some good music.

unitil next time.

1997-02-12-Decision day

Woke up and drove down to 24 hour fitness on county quebec. I met with Denise. She is a little firecracker from New York. She really liked my attitude and said she would love to hire me. She told me to think about it and let her know by Friday.

I have to weigh out the options. The chilis is right by my house, but the work is not in my field. The 24 hour fitness is in my field, but the drive is almost 35-40 minutes away. I have some tough decisions.

I met with Kent from Chili's at 2:30. He asked me a few questions and hired me and told me to report in Saturday for training. I called Denise back and told her I would take the job. She told me to come in tomorrow to get familiar and do some one on one's with her.

I will call Kent tomorrow and tell him I had to take a different job in my field, hopefully he will be understanding.

Until next time...

1997-02-13-First day

I woke up at 8 and played on my word processor making spreadsheets and forms. I had some coffee and some oatmeal. I decided to head to 24 hour early to make a good impression. I am not sure what I will be doing, but I am sure it will be fun.

I remember stopping at einsteins on County line road, getting a cup of coffee and a bagel before I went to 24 hour and just watching the clouds float overhead. Off in the distance, I could see the sun slowly going behind the mountains. It was the most magestical sight I have seen and made my heart skip a beat.

Denise had me fill out all the necessary paperwork and introduced me to Paul, the club manager. He is a sales guy and hopes that I can bring in some business. I am not sure how i feel about sales because I am not that confident. I think if Jeff Fabrizio (Dan's friend) can do it, so can I. One day at a time.

I read when i got home and fell asleep.

Until next time

1997-02-11-The job scene

I hit the job scene today hard. I dropped off resume's at Chili's, Ruby Tuesday, Applebees and Outback Steakhouse. The guy at Outback was a total tool-bag He said, "Don't expect a call back because you have no experience waiting tables.

Ron at Chili's told me to come back at 2:30 Wednesday for an interview. The funny thing is that you can't get experience until someone gives you a chance. I don't care what industry you are in, unless you get that first break, you will never get in. Someone has to look at you and see that you have worth.

I am looking forward to my interview at Chili's. It may not be what i want, but for now it could be a source of income.

Until next time...

1997-02-10-Colorado Springs

So I had to drive Johnny to the airport. He got his ticket out of Colorado Springs because it was cheaper than Denver International Airport.

The drive was beautiful and we listened to some great music on the way down. I am going to miss Johnny. Its wierd, but this is the first time I am going to really be on my own. I don't have a lot of friends here, aside from Dan and Liz. I really took a chance on coming out here and feel a bit out of my element. I don't have a job, no real savings and a blank slate basically. I am sure I will make it work.

I got home at 2 and called my first client Phyllis Hunley. Dan had referred her to me. She wants to meet next week and She said she would like to train 2 times a week...I am psyched. that means 70 bucks a week. Awesome.

Until next time...

1997-02-09-Cold and fun

Woke up early today because I thought we were going to Church, however, Dan, Liz and one of dan's friends wanted to drive up to Breckenridge.

It was beautiful. We rode from Keystone to Breckenridge. It was FREEEEEEEZing cold. I know it is something i have to get used to. We stopped at a place called "Downstairs at Eric's" I had the soup and a sandwich. It was okay, not great just okay. The beer was way better than the food. What beer you ask, of course fat tire and I tred Buff Gold today too.

The ride back turned out to be colder because the sun was starting to set. I was so exhausted that I had to walk and the gang came and picked me up.

I picked up Johnny at the Greyhound station. We set his stuff down and loaded it in my car, Unfortunately, we drove off and realized his laptop was not with us. We drove back but found out it was stolen.

I was bummed and so was Johnny, but he looked at me and said, "well you can't cry over spilt milk" We came h…

My First Ride In Colorado

It was a gorgeous day today. Went on a ride from our place to Cherry Creek. It turned out to be a 20 mile ride. It was a good start to get used to the altitude and distance.

We got home at about 2 and I crashed for an hour i was so tired. Later that evening, I was invited by Dan and Liz to go out to Healthy Habits (which i think is currently closed). It is an amazing restaurant with fantastic food at a great price.

After dinner, I came home and watched a movie on VCR and fell asleep on the couch.

Until next time...

Getting Around

Woke up at 9 or 10. Ate at Chubby's with Dan. Returned the truck and checked out Park Meadows Mall It is a beautiful mall. I really like it.

I came home and walked over to Albertsons behind my house and bought some pasta and Salad. Johnny kicked in and bought some Fat Tire...which is now my official favorite beer in the world.

Mellow night, unpacked...listened to some music and called it a day

Until next time

Making Time

Woke up at 8:00. Johnny and I grabbed some breakfast at Waffle House. I love that place. They have such good "crappy" food. We filled up and hit the road.

We hit some heavy winds just outside of Texas. Because of the mountains, we unhitched the car and I drove the rest of the way. The mountains were beautiful.

I had a hard time finding the Apartments. Finally, the girl at the front desk guided us in. We got there at 6:45 and she was kind enough to stay late to get us the key so we could move in.

We unloaded the truck and went to eat at Ruby Tuesdays. Finally came home. Made a bed ont he couch for Johnny and I crashed on my bed without any sheets.

Until next time...


Woke up at 10 this morning. I was tired. Had breakfast with the Gunman and his wife and hit the road at 11:30

Drove to Dallas and Johnny dropped his car off at Tracy's. We left for Amarillo at about 5:30 or 6.

Got to Amarillo at 2:00 and got a room at the motel 6. I passed out hard.

Until next time...

Starting my move to Colorado

Woke up t at 3. I couldn't sleep. Guess I am nervous about the move. I went downstairs and watched "Oh God". What a great movie. It has been a long time since I had seen that particular movie. At 7 dad and I went to the office to pick up the green chair and end table. He gave me 350 in cash. He was so nice to do that. Alcohol may be a character flaw, but it cant alter a persons heart. I know how much my dad loves me. It is sad to go, but I must.

I hit the road by 8:30 and got to Baton Rouge by 11:00. We finally left for Alexandria by 3 and arrived at 5:30. Johnny and I went to Red Beards, then to Shoneys, ate and came home and crashed.

Until next time.

Moving Day

Went to breakfast with Ashley W. and my dad. We came back and moved all the stuff. It went very quickly. We had everything loaded in the truck by Noon. I rented the steam cleaner and had the carpet cleaned by 1pm and had two beers while cleaning. It was a beautiful Florida day.

The checks did not come in from AltaCare due to the Fog. I was upset because I needed that money, but oh well. I am sure life will continue. Gina and I said our goodbyes. It was tough. I could tell she was upset. She is a great girl with a heart of gold.

I was on the road by 4:00pm and arrived home at 6:30pm. I ate some delicious dinner that my dad fixed and fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

until next time...

Letter From A Friend

Dearest Chad,

What more can I say but "Thank You" from the bottom of my heart for everything!!! Thanks for the friendship, listening to me, your time and our great, special and wonderful times we shared together. I will always treasure you and the memories. You have made me see that there are bigger and better things that the world has to offer. You have made such a positive impact on my life, love and future.

Chad, I won't deny my feelings for you. I feel so strongly for you and care for you very much. Who knows what will happen and what the future holds for us, but you are someone special. I could fall hard for you!!! I will never forget the way you held me, touched and kissed me, made love to me, shared your feelings and thoughts, your amazing smile, face and gorgeous body. (I could go on, but i will hold back) Most of all, I will never forget you!!!

I wish you all the best in Colorado and all that life throws at you. You deserve it! This isn't a goodbye …

Picking Up The Truck

Picked up the truck from Budget today. Went to lunch with some people from Monsanto. I was happy to see that everyone is going to miss me. It feels good to be loved :-).

Had a hell of a time finding diesel for the truck. Finally found some and brought the truck home. Mom and dad made it down at about 4pm and then we went to John and Sallys for dinner. It was nice to see Sally and Uncle John. They are amazing people

Gina came over and spent the night with me on the couch. Tomorrow is load and go day. Nervous but excited.

Until next time...

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Today was very overcast. I woke up at 7 and made myself go back to sleep unitl 8:30. Judy called me from altacare and asked if I could work, but I told her I had other commitments.

I went to the mall and bought the book by Hunter S. Thompson "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas". It is by far, the funniest book I have read to date. I bought a new battery and had it put in my watch for $15.00. Seems like a lot for a battery. My watch was dying and I needed a new battery so the ends justifies the means.

Work at Monsanto was interesting. The one and only client I had all day, walked out, completely pissed that we asked him to sign the Par-Q and Coronary Artery Disease Risk Factor. Oh well, you cant please everyone. I worked out at Powerhouse again tonight. Gina got blue contacts and they look really good on her. It makes her look way sexy.

I also helped Jenny S. work out tonight. She is super HOT! I also tanned for 20 minutes (since it is free to us) and then headed to the …

Positive Thought

Woke up at 7:00 am and started reading "Positive Thinking". It is an excellent book. I decided after a few cups of coffee to go for a ride because it is such a beautiful day. I went to Bagels del Sol on my bike. It was a great ride. For the first time in a while I only rode 10 miles, However, i was still aerobic for 30 minutes.

Jim came up and talked to me for a while.

I told him that I am going to start my own company in Colorado. I told him that if it starts to do well, I want to hire him. I think he would be an excellent asset to any organization. I think with his ability to speak to people, we would be able to effectively market ourselves. I basically would need the microfit machiine and a computer. I could probably call my Uncle and ask him for the loan. It would be a great idea.

Powerhouse Gym was slammed. I did two measurements and 3 prescriptions. Gina came over last night and RocKED my world. I will leave that thought to your imagination.

Until next time..…

Helping Angela

What a great day turned out to be. Even after torrential downpours, it turned out to be beautiful. I went to Angela Z's house at about 9:30 in the morning. I helped her put on her running boards on her VW as well as some weather stipping. Angela is so cool. I should have gone with her to dinner, but I had so much to do last night. I called a bunch of friends today. I also Talked to Ashley Williams. He was talking about a superbowl party. That could be fun. Ashley is a great friend. He is such a great guy.

Gina came over and dropped off a tape (i think it is a mix tape) She looked great. We ended up making out for 3 hours. She had to go to the movies with mike...her boyfriend. She is pretty amazing and is very sexually confident.

I went to Denny's and read for a while. It is about 2:00 am and time for me to hit the sack.

Until next time...

Last Friday of Monsanto

Woke up early, at about 6 am and cleaned. I prepped some more stuff for the move. I want to make sure that everything goes smooth. I went to Monsanto at about 11 because Suna and Tom and Kathe wanted to take me out to lunch.

Brandon has a lot of learning to do. I think his biggest problem is listening. He needs to learn patience and being humble. I don't claim to be better, but sometimes listening to him, he seems like a know it all.

The party… I can't believe i showed up for my going away party. What an embarrassment to myself---Nobody showed. I am a bore. Anyhow it sucked…I came home at 1:30 and crashed.

Until next time...

Rainy days and thursdays

The weather has been S-H-I-T-T-Y. I finished up my last day at AltaCare today. It was sad to say goodbye to the seniors. I also said goodbye to my coworkers. The seniors said they were going to miss me and I for sure will remember then for a lifetime. They have taught me so much.

I talked with Robert Donofrio before I left. He wished me well. I will miss him also. He has been such a postive influence and a great mentor in my life. He has also and will continue to be a great friend.

Monsanto was good. I can tell everyone is going to miss me. They love my energy, my enthusiasm, my approachability. I trained Amanda tonight, her dad got her set up at the gym. She is so sweet. Junior in high school. She confided in me about her boyfriend and school. We have a good relationship to discuss things on her mind. I think it helps her to process.

I worked out at Powerhouse and went home and cleaned up a bit. I was going to go to Seville Quarter but I got a little sidetracked by Gin…

The Connells and Tonic

What a day! Picked up the seniors and dropped them off. I am not working anymore in the office. They asked me to pick up the Seniors since they don't have a driver on this day. I said no problem. After dropping them off, I spent time back home cleaning and packing.

Monsanto was slow. Weather was very beautiful and has been for the past few days. Looking forward to the adventure of the move. Who knows what the future has to offer.

Went to Seville Quarter tonight and saw "Tonic" open up for "The Connells". It was an awesome show. I met a guy from Monsanto and a couple of his friends. I also ran into Shawn Crooks. He is such a good guy and a cool friend. He introduced me to some of his friends and his new girlfriend Dana.

At 12, I met up with Heather (Tiffany's sister) and we ended up talking and drinking until 2am. When i walked her to her car, she kissed me. She was drunk, but it was a cool ending to a great day.

Until next time...

Cracker Barrel and Saying Goodbye

It was a beautiful day out. Seniors were in great spirits and very friendly and jovial. I worked til 1pm and then made my way out to Monsanto.

Monsanto was good. I trained a few people & I saw Angela Z. She is awesome. I am going to miss her. She is so much fun and I have always enjoyed hangin out with her. I worked out hard at powerhouse. I really felt the girl vibe at the gym from girls checkin me out. I got a call from Darcy, Kristin and Dad. When i checked my messages, I called Darcy and asked if she wanted to go to Cracker Barrel with me. I figured since we both like the place so much, it would be a good note to end my time here.

I called Kristen when i got home. We talked for an hour. I found out she is madly in love with me. She has been since our class together. She said she wants to marry me. Wow…that is heavy. I feel i have to keep my distance. I think it is too soon since Darcy, plus if its meant to happen it will.

I am exhausted. Its almost 11pm and I n…

Heading back to Pensacola, Letters & Phone Calls

This was a fun but quick weekend. I slept in today. I woke up at like 9am. Dad made some of his extra special good coffee. Not sure how he makes it, but I can NEVER get mine to taste as good as his.

He worked in the yard. Mom and I watched movies and then I decided to head out at about 3. My dad fixed some amazing chicken and made me take some home with me. I am glad because I am a starving college student.

The drive home was fast. I drove the speed limit the whole way back but there was just no traffic. Upon arriving back I checked the mail and got a letter from Kristen. She also left me a voice message. It was great to hear her voice. She said she missed me and wrote to me about how she is feeling.

I cleaned up my little apartment, ate some chicken, showered and went to bed.

Until next time...

Shoneys for Breakie and Family Time

Today I watched movies all day. Started the day at Shoney's for breakfast. My dad loves coming here because they have great breakfast buffett. We ended up going to the pawn shop afterwards and my dad bought me a bunch of CD's. He is so awesome. They were ones I wouldn't really pay full price for and he bought them for 4 or 5 bucks a piece.

Grandma and Grandpa Bordes drove in to town today to see me. I made some coffee and we all sat around chatting. I love my family so much. My grandparents are awesome. My family is the best. I think of all the memories I have about my family and I hope I will never lose one of them. I am going to miss being so close to them, however, like my dad said. I have to live my own life, I can't stay around because of emotions.

I look forward to seeing them again.

Until next time...


Woke up today at 7. I didn't have to work today so I made coffee and drank several cups. I was going to work out, but i remembered a promise to a friend…Isaac. He is a senior in the program where I work. I promised him breakfast at waffle house. I am a man of my word. If I say I'll do it, I will do it damn it. I also bought him a newspaper and a calendar. He was so thankful. I think that is what this life is all about. This fucked up thing known as life. When you make others happy, you make yourself happy.

I try to be happy everyday. It is a learning process, just like being assertive. We are born emotionless into this world and we have to learn all these emotions. I am learning.

I decided very last minute to drive home and see the folks. I ended up eating dinner at the Burger King in Grand Bay. This place is majestic as the sun sets. Very pretty watching the skies change color and being on the water of the Mobile Bay. Burger King was a bad idea. The food tast…

Great day? Maybe So.

Today was a great day. I got to hang out with the seniors at Alta Care. I work a senior out patient program from 7 to 1 and then at 2 I go to Monsanto to to work at the gym til 6. While hanging with the seniors, we talked about life for a while and how things had changed from when they grew up. We actually discussed job requirements and how they have changed as well as the length of requirement that many of them worked while they were employed.

Life right now is good. You have to be at the right place at the right time. So far, today, I am there. I trained Brandon today so he can take over my position. I think he will do exceptionally well, he is no me, but he is a good guy. I am sure people will like Brandon because he is so down to earth and he is a local. side note: Brandon is a class mate and a very genuine guy. I am sure he will make a someone really happy when he decides to settle down.

I think Brandon and Gerald are going to be forces to reckon with. 2 perverts…Well ac…

Its a Beautiful Day

Today was absolutely gorgeous. Not a cloud in the sky. Staffing at Altacare is being flexed due to low attendance and low patient count. I got flexed on Thursday and have to work with the Adults tomorrow.

I am very nervous about my ACSM certification. I wish I had taken it earlier in my college studies. I guess knowing what I wanted to do would have been key. I am trying to frantically learn all the metabolic equations. ARRRRRRRRGH.

I love beautiful women. Don't know why I said that. There was a girl tonight at the gym with an ass to die for. I try to tell myself that life doesn't evolve around sex, but that is hard to convince myself of. Not a whole lot of excitement today.

Until tomorrow...

Selling things...

What a day!. Nancy ad her room mate came over and looked at some of my furniture. They looked at the couch, chair and some other stuff. They weren't really interested in the couch or chair, but really liked my lamps. I thought about it all day and decided not to sell because it will be expensive to replace that stuff in Colorado. I think it will be cheaper to hang on to them then have to go out and buy new stuff.

Found out that Angela (from powerhouse gym) is in love with me. I feel bad because i know she will be hurt when I leave. I wish i wouldn't have pursued sexual desires on this one. I think we may have been good as friends. Who knows, maybe we can be friends still?

Gina and I talked a lot a work tonight. She is very attractive. I have never dated an asian girl before, but I think they are so exotic. I think i need to peak my curiousity. Today in the gym we were making all kinds of sexual innuendoes. A thought I had is that it is okay if it is among friends, …

Funday Friday

What a day.  Woke up at 11:00.  Didn't have to work at Alta Care today.  Johnny and I ended up going to lunch at Norma's.  That is some damn good food.  When we went downstairs, we ran into Sue (jim my downstairs neighbor) a friend that lives in my complex.  She is so sweet. She asked what I was doing at the mall and I told her chasing girls.

Johnny and I walked around the mall for a while.  Johnny bought a CD.  About this time I realized that it was time to go to work at Monsanto.  The gym was good today and very busy.  I love helping people get in shape. This is by far the most rewarding job I have ever had.  People seem to respect and look up to me for answers.  After work at about 10:30 Johnny and I decided to go to Seville.  I had a great time.  We walked around and I had the pleasure of looking at some beautiful women.  Johnny ended up hooking up with Heather (Tiffany's sister....we still don't know who this is or can't remember).  ABC was in full effect.

I did…


Woke up early today, no clue why.  Work was good.  Today was cloudy and cold.  Mike (at Altacare) and I cut up all day long.  Bill Spring was cool as always.  He is so laid back and funny.  I am getting nervous about the move.  I am looking forward to it.  Johnny called me and asked me to go to lunch at Norma's in Dillards.  I wasn't able to go because I had to hang with the adults on this day.

After work at Monsanto, I came home and got ready for the outing of the evening.  Johnny and I went to seville.  The crowd was outrageous.  The chicks looked really good on this particular night.  I am slowly learning to like being single.  Membership has its privileges.  I worked out with this girl Jenny S.  who has a fantastic body.  She was good friends with my ex girlfriend Gina D.  While at Seville, I saw her friend Jennifer.  We chatted for a bit and she was a cutie as well.  She seems like she could be interested in me.  While I was talking to her, Stephanie (an ex) came up and hu…

Getting Nervous

Today started good.  It was the first time I was able to wake up, shut the alarm off, sleep for another hour and still remember my dream.  I dreamed that I was surfing and couldn't leave the beach because the waves just kept getting a little bit bigger and better.  What a stellar dream.

Even though it rained and was nasty, i was still able to smile.  Jimmy Buffett started me off and finished me off right as well.  I was very busy at the gym.  I had appointments all day. When I went to Powerhouse gym, Angie (the 18yo) informed me that she left a note on my door step.  It was a card telling me how much she likes me and how she has never dated anyone who has treated her so well.

Jim took me to dinner because I helped him put together his treadmill.  Dad called and informed me of Grandma's birthday tomorrow.  I must call.  I still haven't received my letter from Kimberly at Elk Ridge Apartments.( see floor plan)

I have 3 weeks to go until I move there and I am still anxious and …

New Chapters

Today was cloudy and cold.  Its getting closer until I make this move to Colorado.  I am nervous and excited.  Nervous because of the job situation...I am going there blind.  I do tend to underestimate my abilities.  If there is one thing that I have learned in the last relationship, its to stop second guessing myself.  I am excited because it will be a new chapter in my life.  This is going to be one of those stories that (if i have children), I will be telling them.

When I reflect, I realize that I am not alone.  Many people, who are older and wiser than I have experienced similar events and are still around like my dad.  Jimmy Buffett said, "I gotta school boy heart, a novelist eye, stout sailors legs and a license to fly..."

He didn't get that way by being stagnant.  He got off his ass and learned about life.  As I sit here and watch David Letterman, I realize how complicated we humans have made a relatively simple life.  We forget about the beautiful world that surrou…

One Day Behind...

Well I am a day behind it seems.  Somehow that reminds me of the Outfield song,

"I only live for today, and I'm one day behind".  I was depressed when I woke up, but that faded as the day progressed.  I get very sick of this winter weather.  It makes me kinda blue.  Lately, I have been listening to "Hero of the Day" and "Until it sleeps" by Metallica.  The album,"Load",  is great, but I like those songs in particular.

Today, I trained Gerald on the computer.  He seems to pick up stuff pretty quick.  It was pretty uneventful at the gym at Monsanto.  I trained right before I left and then headed home.  I got a message from my cousin Johnny that he wanted to see the Connells at Seville.  I said, hell yes I am in.

Life seems odd at times, but once you realize you can survive no matter what, it is all good.  Angie, the 18 year old I have been seeing from the gym, seemed a bit upset.  I called her to find out what was going on.  She confessed that …

Lazy Sundays

"Sunday Bloody Sunday" blared on the radio as I turned it on this morning.  I woke up at 7am and had some hot chocolate.  Read a little of "Science of Flexibility".  I got a call from my dad and he seemed rather chipper on this Sunday.  He also told me not to worry about my insurance on the car for the next two months.  That sure will help me out a lot as I get settled in Colorado.

I cleaned my apartment (8491 Old Spanish Trail road Pensacola, FL) a little today.  Training was very interesting.  I trained two girls today and one of which was obsessed with sex.  The whole entire time she is telling me how much she loves it while I am trying to train her.  I also met a very cool girl named Gina.

Gina had the same problem or was having the same problem that I had when i broke up with Darcy.  When I was doing my laundry at 5:30, Gina showed up in tears.  I talked to her for a while.  I figure she just needs someone to talk to.  I gave her a card and told her to call me i…

Slowly saying my goodbyes

Woke up at 9 this morning.  Turned out to be a gorgeous day. I ate breakfast and watched some TV.  I decided to go on a ride and did a 15 mile loop by my house on my Fuji today.  Its an old touring series III but i love it.  It works.  It felt great to be on my bike and be connected with nature again.  I admired the trees and the birds and watched a Delta DC-9 take off over my head out of Pensacola Airport.

I went to Ashley's place today to help him wax his car.  I guess his wife was out with the kids.  Ash and I used to work at Mom's Cinnamon Rolls together.  He was my aloof baker.  I remember one time, leaving him in charge of baking 2 hummingbird cakes.  I mixed them up, put them in the mold and had him bake them.  I came back to the mall 4 hours later and the cakes were still in the oven.  All you can do is laugh.

After we waxed his car, we went to Sam's club to pick some stuff up and then we went to the best restaurant in Pensacola, called Fournaris Brothers and ordere…

Friday Movie and Time with a Good Friend

Today was a good day.  I woke up and worked out.  I spoke with Gerald, my coworker from the gym.  I also spoke to my dad.  I know he hates to see me leave, but deep down, I think he knows what is best for me.  I told him that I was unhappy here in Florida and that I was becoming stagnant in the midst of my daily routines.

At work I received tons of support from great friends, Donna and Angela as well as Kathy Vail.  Donna is so sweet and has been inviting me over to her house for dinner since she knows I am a bachelor.  Her husband has been challenging me to eat these amazingly hot peppers and follow them with a shot of good whiskey, when I go over to eat.  Quite funny but I think i whooped his ass the last time. He turned beet red and Donna, just laughed.

I ended up going to the movies with Angela tonight.  She is like one of the guys, although she is very smart and cute.  We saw "1st wives club" and it was pretty cute.  I actually ran into Erika, from work at AltaCare. She…

Thursday and Self Discovery

Life has a funny way of working itself out.  I was pretty depressed this morning.  I think partially because I am (or so i seem to think), needing to fall in love.  I realized that I don't enjoy being alone.  Unlike Robert Deniro in "Heat", I am alone and lonely.

I did realize today that music can save our mortal souls and that time tends to iron out lifes little wrinkles.  Sometimes the irony and why life sucks is because there is no certainty.  Change is what makes us learn, and learning makes us change.  (Oh shit, i am getting to deep for myself...i need to cut that shit out).

Sometimes I wonder if I should sit back and enjoy the ride???  I seem to feel that laughter is good and that it is something I need to do more of.  I guess my life makes sense to me.  Or does it?  I have to constantly remind myself that life is good and I am a good person.  I am also blessed with looks and a decent personality.  I guess I should look forward to this quest for happiness and the pu…

New Year, New Things On The Horizon

Well a new year has started.  I don't feel different, just very alone.  I can't tell if I am growing or becoming stagnant in my life.  Everyone around me seems to be happy and in love, two things I am not.

I am moving to Colorado soon.  It is a place I am unfamiliar with and I have to be honest, I am nervous.  I seem to spend all my time thinking about life and how I don't have a love or don't feel like a place has been set at the dining table of life for me.  It is a very weird feeling.

My cousin Johnny, invited me to breakfast this afternoon at 1:00.  I had a cup of cappucino at "My favorite things" in Pensacola.  Its a cool little cafe that  hasn't been opened all that long.  When Johnny decided to head back to New Orleans, I decided to make my rounds at Cordova Mall.  I decided to catch, what was left of "Michael" at 3pm.  It was a great movie about love and learning to love in this crazy chasm of voidness.  It was about loving life for the sh…