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Three Pairs of Shoes

That is all I own, well in the shoe department anyway.  I used to be so concerned with stuff and appearance.  I always had nice watches, nice pants and jackets and nice shirts.  I dressed well and felt like I impressed.  The question is, who was I impressing? Myself or those around me?

Moving to Eugene nine months ago, everything changed.  I got rid of every suit I owned.  Every nice shirt was donated to goodwill.  I gave all the pictures that had been in my family for years and years, away.  I kept two boxes and removed the rest.  I got rid of the excess in my life and became a true minimalist.  I left for 3 months and went to India.  It was going to be a life changing trip and I planned to travel an see as much of India as possible.  As you all know, that didn't happen.  I ended up primarily in Delhi and a few days in Chennai.  I got to see two of my cousins and watched lots of Bollywood movies.  I fell in love with the culture and even though there are 24 million people in Delhi alone, a part of me felt connected to the place. 

I was lucky to be offered an internship there and met some amazing people.  Working in a Hostel gives you a new perspective on life.  You meet people from all walks of life with travel in their blood, all seeking out their own adventures.  I met some great people, like my friend Mark.  We spent time adjusting to India and the food and he went on to see more sights.  I was blessed to have him in my midst and felt like he was my brother.  We had a bond that I only share with two other people, my best friend Scott and my other best friend Noah.  Mark and I would never really plan our days, but rather just enjoy the journey. We took everything day by day.  He introduced me to great movies and we laughed alot and drank heaps of beer.  

Travel creates a beast inside that cannot be tamed.  I am settled here in Eugene Oregon, but I am constantly thinking "what if".  It is the yin and yang of life.  To remain free spirited and able to go where the wind takes you, and yet be balanced and grounded.  I find myself going through phases of wanting to be grounded to wanting to travel again.  Now that I am in the grind again, I find it harder to save, even though its probably just an excuse. I wish that I could win the lottery and help house all the people that need work.  Start service based and manufacturing jobs for them.  Help them to get some dignity back and believe in themselves again, but I digress.  Travel will never leave me.  Even if I never get to get on a plane again, I will surely make trips in my mind to Asia, specifically Thailand and Vietnam.  I will travel to Iceland and Greenland.  I will see the great wall in China and I will visit Dubai. 

We all want to leave our mark in this world.  We want to believe there is something greater and that we are fighting for the greater good. That we will be remembered for something, that our legacy will carry on.  The reality is, that our time in the glorious sun will fade away and others will step into that light.  The legacy that we thought we might leave, well it was a dream that died with the fables our parents told us about right or wrong, good and bad, what it means to have a family and how we should live our lives.  We can only choose a thing in this world and see what the resulting consequence of that choice becomes.  There is no right, no wrong, no chance, no coincidence, just existence.  "I think, therefore, I am"

Being spiritual means being alive.  It doesn't matter if you are a Christian, a Jew, a Mulslim, a Buddhist, Nilhist or a Pagan.  The mere fact that you live is a spiritual journey that only you will take.  It cannot be dictated by parents, teachers or sages.  Your answer is within you.  Your truth is within yourself and don't get that twisted.  Just because you were taught a spiritual doctrine doesn't mean you have to follow it.  Find your own truth.  Question everything and believe some things.  The thing I believe in is love.  It is bigger than work, more powerful than hate, stronger than fear, bigger than the world, as embracing as family, and by far the only legacy that you can ever leave behind that will ever matter.  Think about it.

I don't have much, so all I can give is my writing.  It isn't original and it has probably been said millions of times before me in different ways.  My only real goal is to make you think. In a world where we have become stagnant "app" makers or followers, we need a distraction. We need human connection, we need hugs and love and thought.  Without them, we die.  Its not about how pretty or popular you are, its not about how many Instagram or snap chat followers you have, its not about how nice a car you have, its not about how much money you have, its about "whats in your heart"-"To thine own self, be true"  Find your course, set your path, and set the world on fire with love...its the only thing real that matters.

Until next time.


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Feels like a throat punch to my heart

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I got a text message from a close colleague I used to work with at a previous job.

Beck: "whats shakin CB"
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Screw back up plans

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When you have a back up plan you have an "oh shit that didn't work and I have to do something about it". Its like whatever it is going on in your life is going to fail or stop being at some point. Newsflash: You are correct!  NOTHING lasts forever. Your job, your marriage, your income stream, your family and most certainly not your startup or your job.  For those of you wishing to go back to the old days, its not going to happen.  The age of chivalry is dying and the startup that you create will be dead within 10-15 years.  We don't live in our parents or grandparents economy. Hell the way we communicate is changing. See example below and try and decipher what I am saying to you


Did you figure it out yet.  If so, please pat yourself …

Just a friendly update on me :-)

Hey everyone

Just wanted to give an update. You may remember that I said I was going to be coming back to California, well it is official.  I am heading down May 1. I will most likely take the train and stop in Napa to visit my cousin Stephen Bordes at his winery for a day or two.  From there, I will catch a train to San diego.

I am currently looking for work and open to any positions that may be available, I just ask that you don't hold it against me because I have a masters degree.  I have seen many companies shy away from hiring me because I have a Masters Degree.  I am honestly looking to get off my feet and find a base of operation. My home is California and I know that now.  I am native and the air, soil and water are in my bones.

I am looking to establish which means I will need to find a place to live (that I pay for monthly), maybe even get a car (down the road) for now I know that I will have to use the bus and I am okay with that. I am nervous as hell about this move …