The New Age of Homelessness

I'm not proud to admit it, but yes, I am homeless.  A 46 year old, Masters educated individual living out of my car.  I made choices in my life that were less than "traditional".  I got frustrated with the system and decided to travel the world.  I came back home and decided to give it a go again.  I tried in Oregon, but the rain was too much for me and I didn't see too many opportunities there. I came back to cali and try and start over.

I feel that although I am talking about this, it is something that is occuring more than we know.  Wages for educated people aren't going up unless of course your in the right field.  Average income in 2017 was $73,000.  Median income is somewhere around $59,000.  If you are single, AGI was roughly $34,000. In one study I read in order to live a "good life" in America, you need $150,000 a year.  I can say that those of us living out of our cars are no where near that # (median, average or "good life").  I know that dual income earners have much higher success rates. Married filing separately is roughly $64000 Married filing together is somewhere around $115,000. Right now the median rent is a whopping $2,546 per month - that's up 4.3 over last year. Thats good news for me...that means I can buy...some dirt.

I have been back almost a year and well to be honest, I failed.  In a big way.  I stopped believing in myself somewhere.  I lost myself somewhere and sold out to the system.  I stopped thinking I deserve the best and settled for whatever the world would give me.  I have $100,000 in college debt for an MBA in Global Management, and to be honest its a dinosaur of a degree that no one gives a shit about. I have been on the job search for a career for almost 2 years. I have seen more rejection emails then there are grains of sand on the beach. 

I am thankful for my car at the moment because its my house.  It keeps me out of the rain and the weather.  I guess I pictured my life differently at this moment...wife, kids, small little place to call home filled with love and creating memories.  Instead I am in exactly the opposite space.  I think I live to much in emotion and not enough in logic. I felt that love would solve the problems in not only my life but all life.  I couldn't be more wrong.

It all starts with belief in self.  I don't know what I believe in any more.  I am on automatic mode.  Work, eat, sleep and start all over again.  I look for inspiration and find none.  Im sure Im supposed to be grateful, but I don't feel that way.  I feel like I have let too many people down.  I am sure my parents are shaking their heads where ever they are like "how did that happen". 

Maybe it is time to flip the script.  Unlearn absolutely everything that I have brought to the table at this point because none of it has served me. Love isn't the answer, maybe its a band aid.  Maybe honesty isn't the best policy.  Maybe its not about education, but being open and trying to re-focus.  The answers elude me once again.  I guess I need to focus on what I have...a car...a few close friends, my health, a roof over my head (non traditional of course).  I have to try and fight for another day, even though I so desperately want to quit.  I have to believe that tomorrow will be a better day. I have to believe that something has to give and sooner rather than later, because it is tough out there.  Oh and please don't say money isn't everything, I beg to differ. In today's world it is something If you disagree, you can come live in my car 😆

Until next time...